Random Ramblings....

Migrating my blog

2006-10-03T11:30:00.000+08:00

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,

I am migrating my blog to livejournal. hehee so those that have not receive my email regarding my new site addy and wish to have it please email me at kaze_mitsui@hotmail.com or my email addy that u know for the addy. hehee...

No more Posting here!!! :P

Waiting...

2006-09-14T22:22:00.000+08:00

五月天(MayDay) have a song call 牙关, inside the song it mention that after waiting is more waiting... meaning after waiting for something, you have to wait for another.

Life is a full of "Waiting", we wait for our time to be born into the world. We wait again for doctors when we are sick. We wait for entrance to School, we wait to finish school. We wait to get a job, we wait to find our missing half, we wait to have children, we wait and wait and wait.....

We have to learn to be patient enough to able to wait, recently I have learnt that I am not as patient as I think...

KungFu...

2006-09-06T21:45:00.000+08:00

Real funny play they have there! wahahaha, enjoy

树

2006-08-19T16:44:00.000+08:00

在画这棵树的时候，忽然发现人生其实就像一棵树的成长或就像我在画这棵树的时候一样。
一棵小树在渐渐成长的时候，枝头上的叶子一片一片地长出来，这就像每一个人在成长的时候经验如叶子般慢慢的累积。
每一棵树木成长后的形状都不一样，这因为叶子成长的方向是由很多不同的因素所造成的。
这就像没有一个人是一样的，因为先天的性格和后天的经验所塑造而成的。

面具下的你我

2006-08-19T15:00:00.000+08:00

人的生命刚开始的时候非常简单。不开心的时候哭，开心的时候笑。简简单单，清清楚楚的表达自己的喜怒哀乐。
当我们牙牙学语时，只要一个字，一种表情大都就可以让大人们了解我们要什么，心情怎么样。
渐渐的我们开始明白有很多时候我们不可以把喜怒哀乐表现出来。有时候太开心都会被人误解，太悲哀也会被人当成弱点加以利用。
为了不同的原应因，人们都开始隐藏自己的感觉，常常带上面具让人猜不出他的想法与感觉。
直到后来有的人开始利用面具欺骗身边的人，有的在面具的后面藏着令人狰恶的邪恶面孔，有的他们藏着容易受伤的脸，也有一些藏着他们冒险家的容颜。渐渐的有一些人失去了自我而还完全没有发现，因为伪装已成为了他们身命的一部分。他们失去了真正表达自己的能力，因而失去了一些人与事。

仔细想想，多年以来我有时也戴上了面具。老板要我做一些我不想做的事时，我还是笑笑的做了。当我害怕时，有时我也戴上了勇敢的面具。和不怎么喜欢的人出门时我也戴上了无所谓的面具，哈哈只是不怎么跟他们说话。

我不知我有没有一个常常带着的面具，但是我知道我不是一个能维持面具的人。应为我不开心的时候，还是有很多人会懂。愤怒的时候我大声地表达了出来，然后让姐姐和姐夫狠狠的骂我冲动，易怒和笨。姐姐说有时在一些人的面前一定要用一个超级坚固的面具来好好保护自己，应为有一些人会利用我的反应来打击我。

会写这篇文章是应为我发现一个很会隐藏本性的人，好好先生的面具在时间的转动和我的反应下在我眼前渐渐的龟裂，里面隐藏的谎言，让我深深受挫。原来自己的无知还没有完全消失，没有及时发现他的虚伪。后来，当我认真的用心去看身边的人，我发现很多面具下隐藏了另一个自己。有的是为了保护自己，有的是为了欺骗别人的信任。

以我的性格，讨厌的人我无法给与一个好脸色，但是姐姐说为了保护自己我应该学习用平静的脸来面对他。应为目前还需要和他打交道。我讨厌，但是我明白。但是还是很讨厌啊！好了，为了一个不值得的人生气是个很笨的行为，希望下一次见到他的脸不会觉得太恶心。哈哈哈哈哈。。。

CATS!!! 猫！

2006-07-28T22:47:00.000+08:00

Hehee... feeling abit down so went to look for some funny cat clips. hehee and these are what I found which are really funny. I do think the 2nd clip is funnier thou. :P

束缚

2006-07-28T14:26:00.000+08:00

这世界上最短的咒正是《名》。
所谓咒，简单的来说就是束缚。
要知道，名称正是束缚事物本质的一种东西。
如果这世界上有无法为其取名的东西，表示那东西其实什么都不是。也可以说根本不存在。

-阴阳师

里头还有更详细地解示和说明，但我没有放在这里。

简单的来说，你我被自己的名字给束缚着。因为这个咒，我们得到因这个名字而生出的责任。

《恋情》，束缚着男女，男人因为这个咒的束缚而愿意为女人栽下天上的星星，女人因为这个咒的束缚而愿意痴心的等待男人的回来。

2006-03-26T00:24:00.000+08:00

My lucky charm is a Four-leaf Clover!

What's Your Lucky Charm?

Brought to you by Tickle

Agency Bangkok Trip

2006-03-25T18:07:00.000+08:00

Only one word to describe the four days and three nights.... RUSH...

haha... there are some mishaps but really enjoy the shopping... just hope to have more time and money to do that.

Things that I really unhappy abt the trip is my friend's BF as I shared room with her. Probably because he couldn't share room with her (due to parents is there too) so he keeps picking on me... or he is like tat.

Shirts that I've made there, sigh.. worst tailor I've seen... bad service and empty promises. Wasted alot of our time there. How I wish I get the full refund back.

Seems like from now on... it will be all agency trips... maybe if I managed to clear my target early I can runaway and have a backpacking trip alone... planning with friends seems abit impossible so last min planning lor.

See la, there is an agency trip to Sydney coming up in Sept. I will disappear to somewhere near for a Dive trip, since no one else dives I will go alone... haha probably just hire a dive master and do some boat dives. Liveaboard sound really nice...

Always wanted to go backpack alone... been postponing the idea for awhile... hopefully before my 30th Birthday.

Words of Wisdom Regarding Insurance

2006-02-13T10:52:00.000+08:00

"If I had my way, I would write the word "insure" over the door of every cottage and upon the blotting book of every person, because I am convinced that for sacrifices that are inconceivably small, families can be secured against catastrophes which otherwise would smash them forever. It is our duty to arrest the ghastly waste, not merely of human happiness, but of national health and strength which follows through when through the death of the breadwinner, the frail boat in which the fortunes of the family are embarked flounders..."
Winston Churchill

"One of the clearest evidence of the faith of our people in the free institutions and the future of America is the fact that many millions of our citizens own life insurance policies."
Dwight D. Eisenhower

"To carry adequate life insurance is a moral obligation incumbent upon the great majority of citizens."
Franklin D. Roosevelt

Written Protection

Charles Dickens, the great English writer, had a continuing interest in many things that concerned life insurance. In fact, one of the earliest records of business insurance is Dicken's purchase - on his own initiative - of a policy to protect his generous publisher (who had paid him an advance in English pounds equivalent to $10,000), in case Dickens died before completing several manuscripts.
Dickens offered the following advice on the subject of life insurance:

"No matter what may be the object of your solitude - be insured. Whether you are thinking...comfort and competence in your old age, or of the interests of family when you may be no more, or of a provision for your boy when he reaches a mature age, or of the happy marriage and the wedding portion of your little daughter, one day to be, you hope, a blushing bride, now a tiny, prattling fairy of two or three years - never mind the subject matter - be insured."
Charles Dickens

"It is a strange anomaly that men could be careful to insure their houses, their ships, their merchandise, and yet neglect to insure their lives - surely the most important of all to their families, and more subject to loss."
Benjamin Franklin

"I am now, and I always have been, a believer in life insurance...even a poor man can build up an estate with life insurance. When he does create such an estate, he can feel real satisfaction in knowing that his family is protected if anything happens."
Harry S. Truman

"It just seems to be some people's luck to get blamed for being good in their business. Well, you know how it is. If a guy is going to sell any insurance, for instance, why, he's gotta kinda stick around and ask people if they don't want some more insurance. The crown ain't going to walk all the way upstairs to his office and knock on the door to buy a little insurance, no matter how good it is. I like insurance agents, myself, because they do more good than a lot of fellows that just sit around looking dignified."
Will Rogers

"I can think of no better means for a man to help himself than to undertake the purchase of life insurance."
Lyndon Baines Johnson

New beginning

2006-02-13T10:16:00.000+08:00

Today is my last day at my research lab, a mix of feelings here. haha... thought I'll be very happy leaving here but packing up stuffs and clearing my stuffs from my workstation and lab bench does not seems as joyful as I wanna be. I will miss the people and the environment here. :) Nice lab mates and nice boss... haha although there is shitty top management. :P (Not saying names here wait got court case) hahaa...

Of course I am happy that now I can focus on my new work at my new insurance company. As I am going not going to sell insurance blindly but to provide good services and sell people what they want... thou I know they need more than what they want.. sigh... people here is not as educated in reasons they need an insurance as they did in more developed countries. :P But anyway, since our country is moving into a more educated status I presume more and more people will want to hear more about insurances and learn not only to protect themselves but protect all their assets.

I believes that it is my job to remove the 'regrets' that my potential clients have in terms of not insuring themselves and their assets well. I know it is hard to achieve that but I really wanna to. I believes that by helping people, I am helping myself. Not only in terms of income but also in terms of achievments. :) I know some of you that read my blog at this pt of time will thinks that I am being a hypocrite, but time will prove that I am not. So far I have never force anyone to buy something that they don't need, and I wanna keep the record clean.

Persistences is the word...

男人的好

2006-02-01T10:54:00.000+08:00

很双性恋的MV. 哈哈，这是张宇的歌哦。

不知导演为什么要这么拍。

男人的好

2006 New Year Resolutions

2006-01-09T10:56:00.000+08:00

Brand New Year, and is also really a Brand New Start for me! So here is my New Year Resolutions!

1. Exercise 3 times a wk. (now is more like 3 wks a time, haha)

2. Control my temper as I'm having a feeling that I am sometimes out of control... maybe I need to do some meditation.

3. Organise myself more. Quite a challenge to fulfill. :P

4. Spend more time with my Grandmothers, suddenly realise that they are really old now and time is running out.

5. Qualify for Sydney!

6. Go Dive in Australia!!!

Thats for now, add in more when I think of more. :P As I've said, not much mood of writing today.

Delayed reflections of 2005

2006-01-09T10:40:00.000+08:00

A year that ends with a Big Bang!

I am single and available again, went the seperate way with my last BF. Happy? Not really... Sad? Not at all... Just another mistake? hmm...

Anyway, alot of stuffs really happened during the last mths of the year. Contracted as an agent for AIA and drafted my resignation as a lab biologist. Big changes thou not unwelcome. haha...

Overall, I think I'll fulfilled most of my resolutions last yr. I didn't managed to lost 5kg thou.... I maintained... :P. My room still looks like a typhoon went pass it recently. For the rest of the resolutions I have done my best. haha...

Not in a mood to write alot today so that will be it for the review of 2005... more of it can be found in the re-reflection post. :P

简讯传奇01

2005-12-21T12:07:00.000+08:00

听说有三个人在四处打听你，还说找到你就会缠着你不放！
他们一个叫财神，一个叫顺利，领头的叫做幸福！
我问过烦恼了，它根本不爱你，不要自作多情！
还有健康让我带封情书给你，它暗恋你很久了，还一生不变！

Monkey abusing Tigers...

2005-12-21T11:37:00.000+08:00

wahahahaha... got this from my friend through the email. Oh My God, so funny. The Monkey really brave, keep pulling the tail, ears and hitting the tigers. wahaha

Monkey King?

分手

2005-11-29T15:35:00.000+08:00

恋爱与分手

第一次恋爱以为可以一起成长，可是发现那人缺乏了一个可以管他的人。我不是，也做不到。
第一次分手感觉松一口气。。。

第二次恋爱以为可以一起到老，可是发现那人缺乏了一个被他管的人。我不是，也不可能成为。
第二次分手感觉平静。。。

恋爱的初期是甜蜜的，后期如不好好经营是痛苦的。可能我还不懂得经营一段美好的爱情吧，或是还没找到那个肯和我一起经营我们的感情的人。

对于感情，可能我太苛刻了吧。但是我明白得知到，我不能忍受自己备受伤害，也不能忍受家人和朋友被伤害。我要保护我身边所爱的人，而‘我’永远在第一位。

Pre-End of 2005 Reflections

2005-11-24T13:46:00.000+08:00

Thought of writing something down for the past yr even when it is still a mth plus away from the lat day of 2005.

These past few mths are one of the most vibrant, exciting and unpredictable mths of my life. Hehee... Exciting is the word but comes with it is the lack of sleep. Haiz, sleeping used to be the most impt past time I have... :P

I always wanted to change my job and now finally I've made the first step into doing it. Hurrah to myself, for I am now a financial adviser for AIA. Although it does need alot of hard work and time management. hehee... my Uni friends told me that they never seen me this hard working before... wahaha... even got myself panda eyes. :P Didn't sleep till 1pm during wkends...

Also got someone new in my life, which is my current BF. He will probably be readin this so it seems to be very hard to write anything regarding him without any feedback from him....

What I have learnt from this relationship is that there are really many different people with different ideas in the world, but if idea clashed and you cannot resolved it and leave it aside. It might tumble down on you like an huge ugly snowball. Oh ya, and I really couldn't mind read. I am such a failure in the guessing game of him. Sigh... they says that it is very difficult to understand a woman but it seems even harder to understand man...

Many people said that love is a matter of 2 persons... recently I found that it is somewhat true and yet false. For me, family and friends plays an impt part as my family (plus all uncles and aunts) are really close knitted.

I've joined a Gym too, to increase the amount of excercise I do to keep fit and cut down weight and inches. Went there as often as my shedule fit, most of the time he will go with me.

Well, this is the first of the things that I would like to write.... enjoy reading... comments pls...:p

Just love comments....

Keeping myself healthy

2005-11-07T09:23:00.000+08:00

Hey, it seems that I'm recovering if not recovered. Hehee... at least all the major white spots are gone. Seems like I'm not as healthy as I deem.... hmm time for more fruits and veg and less carbohyrates and fats... no more fried food (at least the minimum... sigh...), no more spicy food (argh my curries), no more anything tat is deem heaty or poisoning in chinese...Sigh.... It seems better if I stick to fish and veg... as that will mean I cannot take sotong, prawns, crabs, chickens, ducks, muttons etcs... (at least have to keep minimum)

K, it seems to be a gd time to start making plans for more exercise. Think I should start swimming again and go gym for some cardio excercise. Get off my bum and burn off fat, increase metabolism and increase immunity.

hmm... wants to wait until I finish all my tests on the 23rd this mth before starting but if I postpone it longer I might not start at all... maybe it is all time management...

Chicken Little- Numa Dance!

2005-11-03T01:14:00.000+08:00

takes awhile to load, be patient...

Getting better...

2005-10-31T18:52:00.000+08:00

Think the rest at home and keeping note of what I'm eating really helps my throat alot.... not all the major big lumps of whie stuffs are reduced into smaller sizes... Can't seems to remove them permemantly thou... hmm... hope they are gone soon.

Detoriating health...

2005-10-27T10:49:00.000+08:00

I got an infection which look like an infection that is commonly call strep throat and now my throat look exactly like the picture in the link. Doc did not say that it is thou, she just said that it is tonsicitis... hmm... did I spell it right?

Anyway, seen her 3 times in a mth and now taking 3rd type of antibiotics... hopefully this course will cure me once and for all. Sigh... it has been bothering me and causing me fatigue... fell asleep once more with the computer and the lights on...

Weight is increasing and my face is rounding... sigh... think I'm getting fat... :P probably not enough excercising.

Haiz... think I better do something... like excercise more and take more vit C... to increase immunity.

My Missing Anime DVD....

2005-10-09T23:50:00.000+08:00

Anyone regonised this anime? I forgot I lent it to whom already. Can I have it back? Been missing for quite awhile already...

Exams exams exams....

2005-10-09T23:33:00.000+08:00

Been very busy with exams...haha...

Passed one, another to go. Wish me luck.

:p Sorry to all the invitations that I declined due to the need of time to study. Will make up to all of you when I passed the Friday paper...

Sorry and thanks to my BF who have been giving me personal time to finish my studies and all the encouragements he give me. Hope he does not feel neglected. :P Hey, no more Sat Training until Dec! hehee... didn't tell him in person as never got the chance... haha...

One very good email I receive from a girl friend...

2005-10-09T23:32:00.000+08:00

What Oprah Said About Men:

if a man wants
you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to
be.
Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what
makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you
deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat
a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he
probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better."
You'll be mad at
yourself
a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you
any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you,
speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he
has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the
bending...compromise is two way
street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute
About baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new
relationship You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a
relationship Consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone
complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.
Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and
you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully
commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other women and men (just so they know)... You'll make
someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to
appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget
them.

To celebrate 2 mths into relationship

2005-10-05T10:55:00.000+08:00

My sweet sweet BF sent me tulips on Monday...hehee...with a cute cute Monkey and Balloon.

hehee.... Sigh.... didn't brought him anything thou...sorry dear...

Took the pictures with my Samsung phone...hehee...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Is enjoying the relationship as well as trying to fit into each other now... as we are individuals with different personality and does not wanna lose our individuality. :P

For my part, I'm trying to understand how he reacts to certain things and situation. We agreed on the importance of communication and voice out our opinions and try to understand and come into a agreeable conclusion.

It is impt to accept each other as they are and change only if one wants to into a better person.

Update on my personality

2005-09-27T16:04:00.000+08:00

This is a refresher update for all friends and family so they will not forget that I have and will continue to have my own personality.

People who love astrology, don't forget that I am a very typical Gemini. I am smart, maybe not in study but definitely street. I have a strong personality if not two or more strong personalities. I can be both Devilish and Angelic depending on the situation that requires them.

I do have a temper although I have more control over them now and it is harder to make me really angry then it is 5 yrs ago. I will tolerate people I love but will not tolerate people who I deem not deserving. When I'm angry, everyone will know. Especially the one that makes me angry. You should ask my younger sister how angry I can be.

I do not live in the castle in the clouds. Logic, realistic and truth is what I live in and for. Although I like to be a perfectionist in many things I do, I am very logical and realistic on what I should do. Thus if I cannot achieve my objective perfectly, I'm still okie if I acheive my objective logically and realistically.

I have good People relationship skills as I love to talk to people, adsorb and understand all their knowledges. I also believes people have to behaves differently and love the challenge of meeting new people with new thinking. I love to understands people and try to work with them and not against them, as we all have different skills and have to work together to have really gd results.

The things I wrote abt myself in friendster which many of my friends agrees on is:
"I'm someone who u may hate n love at the same
time...especially true for some of my friends...wahahaha
Look sleepy all the time, unless the topic of interest is
wat I like"

I am a very normal, down to earth and sometimes innocent looking girl with a very weird thinking. People always got fooled by me when they judge me by the look, I didn't do it purposely but it always happen. People who thinks that I'm conservative and traditional in thinking always get the biggest shock.

Heartless is what some of my friends deem me, in terms of how I handle my past relationship. I'm just doing what I've been doin, drawing a line. I love my family, I love my BF, I love my friends...but if all ranks together I love myself the most.

I love myself so much that some of my friends thinks that it is a kind of illness. hahaha... But just because I love myself, I do not cheat myself, pretend to myself, hurt myself. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, except for the love of bitting things including my hands....:P. If I found myself in a situation that hurts me alot and I really couldn't find ways to stop hurting myself and make myself real unhappy then the only way for me is to walk away from the hurt. That includes...job...hobby...and relationship. If I've tried and failed after a few attempts to find a way ard the hurt while keeping the situation, I will just eliminates it from my life. You can call me a coward for running away, but if that is the only way to save myself then I will.

I can't be control and don't like to be control by others, no one can. Except now maybe my elder sister whom hav certain degree of control over me from young...by one way or another and my younger sister who love to excercise guilt control on me to make me do something for her or give her something. Just because they are my sisters and I love them very much and I choose to give them the right as I know they love me too and will do anything for me even if they don't think it is right.
The one whom have full control over myself is me, anyone else whom believes in having the ability to control me can get out of their illusion now. Having the ability to put an idea into my head does not mean that you have the control. Having the ability to make me feel that you are important to me does not put the control in your hands.
A friend once told me that if someone trys to control me, I'll probably turn and run. haha....hmm...maybe it is true.

Love my freedom, this probably adds on to the reason why I don't like to be control. As freedom for me is a very impt thing. Not talking abt freedom to kill...but freedom to think and act on the things that I love to do.

I always felt trapped in , caged up and burden down... flying is what I want to do. Freedom is what I seeks, truth is in the horizon.

Principles and Rules of Mine

2005-09-27T11:14:00.000+08:00

This is a post to show all the people I know about what I believes in, this is the set of 'rules and principles' that I've modified and try to perfect every yr when I review it. I uses these rules to improves myself as an unique individual, what I am now is how I want to be. There are many sources of influences throughout the life that I've lived that help me to decide how to modifly them. I do not live in anyone's shadow nor think that I'm a perfect person, the task of being a better person as I deem is ongoing probably till I die.

So here goes the 'Principles and Rules':

1. Never try to shape someone into the type of person that I want.
Reasons are, I don't like people who trys to force me to change and I believes very much in individuality. If I dislike the person's action against certain things I will voice out my unhappiness... but it is for them to go and think abt if I am correct and there is a need to change. They might not think that I am right and maybe in some sense I'm wrong.
When different types of people get together, isn't it more happening and exciting in the amt of things u can learn from each others? Isn't it boring if all the people I meet become the same type of person I want?

2. Everyone have their own set of principles and rules that they lives with.
I have my own sets of principles and rules too... many thinks that they are not applicable at all but it is my own. I thought thru it before setting them, u can tell me why they are not gd but I will only make changes when I see that you are right. Therefore knowing that each of us have a different set of principles and rules that they adhere to, I also try to understand people's action by thinking of what influences their action and not classifly them purely base on their action.

3. Never look down on someone.
I don't like the feeling of people looking down on me due to my background, my education level, the path I choose, my pay, my friends and my family. Therefore, as I believes in treating others the same why you want to be treated I never look down on anyone. I know that there are people who do that to me, and although I don't like it I still accept it.
There are people who does that to many people they meet but they are very angry when someone else does the same thing to them. They are the type of people who never do reflection on themselves, as they thinks that they are the best. Unless they can accept that there are people who do the same thing to them as there are no perfect man, then they shouldn't do it.
There are beauty in everyone. Maybe he does not hold a great profession or have alot of money but he has the beauty of a patriot and is the one that will stand infront of their family when something serious happen. Maybe she is just a cleaner who don't even know how to speak English, but she is polite to everyone she meet and never yell at anyone. Maybe he is a very bad father, but he is a very good business man (maybe he just don't know how to be a gd father).

4. Never do something to anyone that you don't like to be done to.
I don't like people who breaks promises to me, thats why I try not to break promises unless something really more important that I need to attend to came up. If I really have to do that, I'll make sure the person that I'm goin to break promise to understand that I didn't really want to do that and I will try to make it up to them.
I don't like people to judge me easily, thus I do not do it to the others. And i'm proud to say that I've adhere to this principle of mine.
I really don't like to be treated as a stupid person. There are people who by what I look like thinks that I somehow is lacking in the brain department. That I cannot think for myself, that I will hurt myself because of my stupidity.... do u know how it feels when someone tells u that, 'oh you are young and need protection'. Hey everyone I know, I'm a very logical and realistic thinker from young! I might look young and stupid to you but I am not! Read through my blog! Any part of it tells you that I'm actually stupid or (in softer version) naive?! Therefore I don't easily say that others are unless I really do understand their thinking. I have friends who thinks that bad things will never happen to them and if they can't get rich themselves they can just marry a rich and handsome guy, but they are not stupid. They just don't see or try not to see the reality side of the world, in hiding...

5. Only believes to things that you have seen with your own eyes, understand it and think through it.
Gossips is a very essential part of human life, it is a very traditional way of passing on informations and ideas. It is also a very poisonous activities if it is used to pass on untrue informations and belittle someone.
To make sure that the information one gets is true, one have to go and listen and understand the reasons behind the comments of other sources and also go and find out from the main subject abt it. Unless one understands everyone's pt of views then one can correctly define the right thing to believes in.
Therefore if I heard from someone that there are people who say something bad abt me behind my back, I accept it and try to think how they comes into that conclusion. I do not confront them as these are their ideas, and if there are others whom they talked to believes that then let them be. Truth will come out in the light someday.

6. If I say something I believes in, do it...don't just say it.
It might take me sometimes to really do something that I said that I will do, but I does do it in the end.
For example:- If I says that I believes one have to be honest, then I will try to stick to what I believes. I will try not lie, but keep quiet if I don't wanna tell the truth at the moment in time. As being honest is sometimes a cruel thing. White lies are sometimes gd but it is deem white lies because it does not benefit you but benefit the ones that hear it and the situation does not hurt the person as much until hate is against you if the lie is broken.

K, thats all I can recall for now... sigh...

Take a break...

2005-09-21T17:02:00.000+08:00

One of the method that I love to use nowadays to take a break is to go and look at cute pictures drawn by online artists. Some of them are really talented... hehee... so here is one of the Artist that I found recently with her Original character works... very very cute and nice... this picture I find it particularly cute.

--by *celesse

Go click on the artist name to view all her great pictures.... she does commission work too... Love her original characters...hehee...

Time management

2005-09-16T11:24:00.000+08:00

Looking through my organiser I realise how little free time I hav to excercise(haven been doin any for nearly a mth), to go out with my love(though I just met up with him on Mon), haven got time to really pack my room(it is never enough time to do that)....

Now with a new route opens for me, I need more time to put in efforts and make it work. haha... I'm venturing into the Financial industry, goin to be a Financial Adviser... or many people like to call it... insurance agent.

The aim is not just to try and sell life or medical insurance to people but to help people to attain their financial goals thru investments, term insurance, etcs... earning money or by helping people to take their financial risk off their shoulders. Good service is what I'm goin to provide, using that as a base to build my business... Yes, I'm taking it as a business.

To get myself out of the Rat race...first I must hav the money to do investments and stuffs....and this opportunity isn't one that I will give up on.

Thus more Time management is needed.

Short term goal (before the yr end), get all 6 licences...
Mid term goal (before March next yr), earn enough every mth to replace my current pay and go into full time.
Long term goal (2yrs later), soar in the business and have everyone I service happy.

To celebrate a mth into relationship....

2005-09-08T12:14:00.000+08:00

This is the lovely white roses that he sent me a few days ago.

追寻。。。等待。。。理想。。。

2005-09-05T13:23:00.000+08:00

“在不确定的时间中，我们到底在追寻什么呢？”

我一直在追逐着自己的梦想，寻找自己的目标。
我一直在等待着机会的出现，创造自己的未来。
机会出现了就要把握，因为那可能那是一生一次的机会。

A dummy's guide to proper courtship

2005-09-02T14:33:00.000+08:00

Found this in a net by a fanfiction author Mizu-Tenshi. Just took the sub-title of each chapter of her fanfiction of the same name and put them down here for all to enjoy...hehee....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Section One – Getting close to your target of affection
When courting any male or female, after identifying your target, the first step is to place yourself in a position in which you are close to said person. This can be achieved by A – Linking yourself together with chains, handcuffs or some kind of super strong adhesive. B – Becoming and official stalker/groupie of your target or C – Stranding yourself and your target on a deserted island hence making the only communication between yourself and said target possible.

Section Two - Conversations
When you really know someone, conversations become unnecessary, trivial things. However, being able to establish a meaningful conversation is one of the basics in courting someone. Conversations can be tricky to instigate and even harder to keep running without falling into awkward silence. The best ways to trigger a conversation is to wear an interesting T-shirt to comment about when things get rough.

Section Three - Getting to know your target of affection
The first step in courting any male/female is to know about your target of affection. In fact, before any proper courtship can begin, it is advisable to have some background information about your target. Any nasty misunderstandings that may sprout from not knowing enough about the male/female you are courting can result in arguments, bumps, bruises, fractures, broken bones, broken egos, loss of limbs and even death.

Section Four - Others around you
During the courting process, it's important to be mindful of the others around you, especially parents, relatives and potential rivals of the peron you are courting. Failure to obtain acceptance from each important person can make the coutring process long, arduous and hellish.

Section Five - Arguments
In any healthy relationship, arguments abound. One popular misconception is that perfect couples are perfect because they never fight. This is of course ridiculous as even the best of relationships wade through the same troubles as everyone else; the only difference is that they do not let it take them down.

Section six - Romantic gestures

Section seven is currently being worked on. It has flirting in it, perverted men, and bar brawls.

A dummy’s guide to proper courtship holds no responsibility for any incidents that may take place as a result of following this guide.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Haven seems to finished yet...the author haven update...haha...but very funny...:P

五月天-恋爱ing

2005-09-01T17:40:00.000+08:00

五月天出新歌了！！！ YA YA YA!

词：阿信曲：阿信

陪你熬夜聊天到爆肝也没关系
陪你逛街逛成扁平足也没关系
超感谢你让我重生整个o-r-z
让我重新认识l o v e
(l-o-v-e ! l-o-v-e! )

恋爱ing happy ing
心情就像是坐上一台喷射机
恋爱ing改变ing
改变了黄昏黎明有你都心跳到不行
(黄昏黎明整个都恋爱ing)

你是空气但是好闻胜过了空气
你是阳光但是也能照进半夜里
水能载舟也能煮粥餵饱了生命
你就是维他命l o v e
(l-o-v-e ! l-o-v-e! )

未来某年某月某日某时某分某秒某人某地某种永远的心情
不会忘记此刻l o v e
l-o-v-e ! l-o-v-e!
l-o-v-e ! l-o-v-e!

感谢网友"xvhongbin"提供该曲目歌词

How I see MLM

2005-09-01T16:38:00.000+08:00

To be true, only until yesterday that I really see the whole business side of MLM. All thnaks to a friend of mine who have been working fulltime in her MLM business for a yr now and making almost 5 figure every mth.

She told me that for an MLM business to work, the most impt thing is not the product they carrys but the business plans that they have in place to help you to make money. To be very successful in MLM, one should not sell anything to anyone at all....the most is to sell the business plans. She herself and the people in her group never sold anything to anyone, they only send them out as gifts. She also seriously told me tat the products are only the vessels you use to sell the business not the business itself. The business is to find people/partners that wants to make money, those people who isn't interested or are too lazy to make money will not succeed.

Thus from her coaching, my group's coaching and my own understanding...I came into a conclusion...

1. Gd MLM business allows downlines to make more money than their uplines... depending on each's efforts in the business.

2. To really make money in the business...the key is not selling but finding partners in the business. Never sell a single product, just the business plans.

3. Many people are wrongly educated by the number of bad MLM companies out there trying to sell, thus to really find partners willing in the business. We must convey the truth of MLM to them, of how it will help them to earn.

4. MLM is really a people helping people business, if u are no intend to help people to do the business...then success can never be urs as only by helping ur downlines then it is possible for you to climb up the MLM level.

5. Gd MLM business plans allow one to earn 5 digits money, top level in the business within 2 yrs if one really follow the plan closely.

So, if I tell you that the one I'm in now have fulfil all the above, anyone interested in joining me in the business and work as a group? Fulfil your dreams of doing whatever you want without worrying abt money? Retires in 5 yrs? Allow ur parents to retire? Help more others like you to acheive their dreams?

Lets not just dream, but make it into a goal and work towards it.

Oh ya, if any of you are already in MLM business....see if your company fulfil every of the above and really work towards ur goal.

"The Best Advice I Ever Got" --Fortune (magazine)

2005-08-24T15:12:00.000+08:00

My BF printed this article for me to read, said that it is a very gd ariticle...and it is. My friends was shocked that he does this kind of thing... if he passes it to them, they will think that he thought they are stupid and need education....but he onli wants to share something that he find nice.

Here is the summery of all the advices the big companies CEOs and chair-persons got that meant alot to them in their decision making. (words written after '~~' is comment by me :P.)

1. You're right not because others agree with you, but because your facts are right. -Warren Buffett (CEO of Berkshire Hathaway)
~~ Facts are facts...it does not include the hear-say informations that you got! Got out there and find out, don't just listen to one source.

2. Make a fool of yourself. Otherwise you won't survive. -Richard Branson (founder of Virgin Atlantic Airways ans the Virgin Group)
~~ This is probably why he always do alot of stunting entrance in his promotion tours.

3. Recognize the skills and traits you don't possess, and hire people who have them. -Howard Schultz (Chairman of Starbucks)
~~ Like I can't do public speaking....:P

4. Have the courage to stick with a tough job. -A.G.Lafley (CHairman and CEO of Procter & Gamble)
~~ See...stick to tough job... do if boss is tough... can run? :P

5. Follow your own instincts, not those of people who see the world differently. -Summer Redstone (Chairman and CEO of Viacom)
~~Even if the whole world opposites ur decision, if every one of ur cells scream to you that it is the correct decision go ahead.

6. Be nice, do your best -and the most important, keep it in perspective. -Meg Whitman (CEO and President of eBay)
~~Alot more detail in her part of the article, I like the part that she says "...any job you're given is an opportunity to prove yourself."

7. Be Yourself. -Jack Welch (Former chairman and CEO of General Electric)
~~Not only be yourself, but be what you can be. But it is true for many people that they have to get warmed up by the company before they can start being more open and be more comfortable to be themselves. At least I think I'm improving by shortening the time needed to adjust to the situation...:P

8. Don't limit yourself by past expectations. -Vivek Paul (President and CEO of Wipro Technologies)
~~I like the event that he mentioned abt the adult elephants that thought they cannot breakloose of their bonds as when they were younger and weaker they tried and failed. It is like, I can't reach the sky now...it doesn't mean I can never right. Once in awhile I should try and even if I can't I shouldn't think that I can never touch the sky. :p

9. When you negotiate, leave a little something on the table. -Dick Parsons (Chairman and CEO of Time Warner)
~~ It is like a chinese pharse “做人不要太绝，一定要留一点后路给人。”

10. When "everyone knows" something to be true, nobody knows nothin'. -Andy Grove (Chairman of Intel)
~~It is like science... everyone knows that eating fruits aids in digestions, so everyone starts to have a healthy lifestyle of eating fruits after meals. Until recent years then came another scientific paper that states eating fruits right after meals is actually un-healthy as the fruit acids will prevents the food to digest properly... putting more pressure on the digestive system. In the end, eating fruits half and hr before meals is deem more healthier. this statement will probably be over-ride someday by another research group...haha

11. Remember the parable of the cow in the ditch -Anne Mulcahy (CEO of Xerox)
~~ Basically means get out of the problem first, then find out what happened that cause the problem and after that make sure not to land into the same problem again.

12. All you really own are ideas and the confidence to write them down. -Brian Grazer (Academy Award-winning movie and TV producer, Imagine Entertainment)
~~The idea is to regonise your own asserts and be brave to out them to work. Mine.... not sure yet... I have a problem of seeing myself clearly, thus most of the times need others to point out my shortcomings and abilities. (mainly shortcomings...)

13. Regularly sit at the feet of Peter Drucker. -Rick Warren (Minister, founder of Saddleback Chruch and author of The Purpose-Driven Life)
~~In the paragraph he suggested something interesting...which is to have good models to look up to, and recommend them all to be dead. As people who are successful now might not be as successful in the future.

14. The real discipline comes in saying no to the wrong opportunities. -Jim Collins (Author of the bestseller Good to Great)
~~Not every opportunities are good for you and your ideas or meet your ideals. Really go in and study them before making a decision. They might give you money or power or every other things in life but then they might not be the right one. Say "NO" or "YES" only after careful considerations.

15. Get good -or get out. -Peter Drucker (Business consultant)
~~That is something he learned from life itself. Either you get good at what you do, or prepare to be replaced by others.

16. Start Young. -Ted Turner (Founder of CNN and former vice chairman of Time Warner)
~~Also something that he learned from young, that is how his father cultivated him. It is true that one will perform better at certain things if he have the experience from young. haha...reminds me of Takumi from Initial D, who is a expert drift-racer because he starts from young.

17. Balance your work with your family. -David Neeleman (CEO of JetBlue)
~~Even if you love your job too much, you still have to remember that your family loves you too and need your love. Only when they knows that you loves them then they will love you.

18. Bail out of a business that isn't growing. -Mickey Drexler (CEO of J. Crew)
~~If you know that there is no future in the job that you are holding now, if there is a chance to get out of that job...grab it. I'm looking for the opportunity now, grabing opportunities that allows me to get out of my stagnant state...even when many people oppose me. :P

19. Let others take the credit. -Brian Roberts (CEO of Comcast)
~~reason he put in is "it makes them feel like they're part of something special"... guess it is correct as due to that they will work harder to achieve as it is no longer for someone else...but for themselves... it is their job...their credits..

20. Incorporate philanthropy into your corporate structure. -Marc Benioff (Founder and CEO of Salesforce.com)
~~Something like “取自社会，用至社会”, many people love to give something back to society, thru money or volunteerism. By providing them that in the company not only make them feels better in working for the company and society but also proves that this company is not just the other company...something like that....

21. Surround yourself with people of integrity, and get out of their way. -Hector Ruiz (CEO of AMD)
~~ This seems only applicable when you are a leader of a group of people that you chosed. Because of your trust and support, they will do more.

22. If you love something, the money will come. -Donny Deutsch (CEO of Deutsch Inc. and host of CNBC's The BIg Idea With Donny Deutsch)
~~Don't do somethings because you wanna make big money, do something you like and eventually it will make money. Something like that? Basically is that if you do something you hate but can earn money...you will eventually loss money...

23. Keenly visualize the future. -Klaus Kleinfeld (CEO of Siemens)
~~It is like what someone said to me earlier in the mth, visualised what you want in the future clearly and you will have the energy and the ideas of how to work towards that goal coming to you more easliy. ....sigh...it is hard, as visualise is easy but the real work is difficult....the key is to be persistent to reach the goal.

24. Don't chart your career path too soon. -Ann Fudge (Chairman and CEO of Young and Rubicam Brands)
~~She said that you are better of demostrating your capabilities at each level, excelling in each job, than to chart you career path and trys to shorten the time between each level.

25. Respect people for who they are, not for what their titles are. -Herb Kelleher (Founder and chairman of Southweat Airlines)
~~Don't be superficial, there are people who are better and wiser in every scope of life. If you give respect to people, they respect you back. Respect does not meant just for elders and knowlegable but everyone...even ur young friends.

26. You can learn from anyone. -Clayton Christensen (Harvard Business School Professor)
~~Just that people doesn't have the title of Professor does not mean that they are not wise. A young boy can say something enlightening to an old man just due to the differences in perspective. You can even learn from the change of weather...

27. Do what you love. -Ted Koppel (Anchor of ABC's Nightline)
~~Don't do things that people expect you to do when you don't love it. Don't do things that many people thinks that is great even if you don't love it. Only do things that you love... in that way, you will excel.

I learned alot from the article, so thought I share some out. :P hehee...does not agrees to all al but then they are gd ideas anyway, even when I don't like some...they work for the big guys!

My personality

2005-08-19T16:55:00.000+08:00

My sis post me a link to a personality test today and very surprisingly or unsurprisingly I'm labelled as both an introvert and extrovert. hmm...interesting isn't it.

Short intro and analysis of myself. I'm a Gemini, probably one of the more typical ones. Mercury is the planet represent me and Air is my sign. So whatever you find on Gemini is probably true abt me, including the more than dual personality...
Thus it probably explain the introvert and extrovert combination.

When I'm younger, I believes rules are to be broken. When I grew older, I believes rules have to be there to allow some form of organisation and system but they still can be bent to my benefits/likings without breaking the organisation/system. I like to follow others when I don't have any plans, I can comprimise to people when I don't have any preference at that moment but I don't really like to be forced to listen to one idea, decision or order when I find it stupid and unreasonable. Sometimes I will just try to bent/reorganise the idea, decision or order to feel better abt following them without losing my personality.

An example from work... Supervisor ask me to do an experiment for her, I'll say okie...but I'll see if I'm free at the moment, see what else I'm doing then go plan when I'm goin to do it and how I'm goin to do it. I'm do not follow her protocol entirely if I find I can do it my way better. But in the end, I still get the job done. :P Maybe not as fast as she want me to but then I normally finish it with better quality and time management.

An example from friends... I'll normally have no perference in where we meet and what we eat, but I'll usually voice out when if they are walking ard aimlessly...or staring at one another and ask 'so wats now.' Friends who know me will know that I'll usually try to drag them to a cafe to drink coffee, but then those who don't like it will stop me from doing that and truely I do not feel disappointed at all.

To everyone concern...

2005-08-18T17:32:00.000+08:00

Thanks for all the concerns and advices from everybody who loves me. I'm really lucky, and sorry that I behaves like a kid. I'm all okie now, thought it thru already.

I can only behaves as I behaves, do things as I believe I should and trust myself in my own analysis to many other advices that I find no pt. at all.

The pt is 'Be myself, Be happy, Trust myself even if others do not trust me.'

Continue to Bad or Good

2005-08-17T18:14:00.000+08:00

This is the part 2 of the past post named 'Wrong or Right'. :P

Many things happens this few weeks and they all triggers the right or wrong, bad or good questions.

First is the MLM thingy... then is the BF thingy...

This is somewhat a post of complains instead of a post of reviews of inccidents. So bear with me if you are reading this...anyway it will be a relatively short post. :P

I love advices and critizes from people abt things in my life, truely I just plainly love debates and love to know the possible reasons they have over the points that they hold on to. One thing I don't particularly like is the reasons that is entirely not the reasons thou.

Everyone have the concept of MLM is a bad thing..is something wrong...so, why is it wrong and cannot be right? 'it is bad', of course I know the public concept of the MLM but why? Because of wat? A few bad cases and everyone is bad?

Oh ya, don't come and tell me that I should not do this or that because in public eyes it is not right...tell me the true reason that you hold! Of course I know the public reasonings...I want yours!

I'm stubborn, but I'm willing to listen and analyse.

朋友的信任

2005-08-17T16:14:00.000+08:00

我以为我的朋友们多多少少都了解我，对我有某种的信任。了解我的性格，了解我做人的原则，但是我发现没有几个人信任我。

某某朋友昨天问我：‘你为什么看起来不开心？有了恋爱的人不是应该很开心的吗？’有了恋爱的人就不可以仍然对工作，家人，朋友，事业等等的事不开心吗？你一定要认为是恋情出了事情吗？哈哈，我离题了。

回到‘信任’。。。
有人介绍了一个可以赚钱的所谓‘事业’给我。我仔细看过后发现是一个还不错的点子，所以我加入了他们。刚开始时我只是买家而不是生意伙伴。应为以前有过不好的经验，所以处处小心谨慎。过了不久后才真正做出了决定，应为可行而有长期的发展潜能。重要的是，发现没有其他同样的所谓‘事业’比这个还要公平起见了。

我知道在我的朋友群里，认同我的人很少。我也知道如果我要他们对这门生意感兴趣的机会很渺茫，但是应为知道很多人都想找出路，所以我还是介绍他们。希望这是一个他们可以用来完成梦想的机会。我知道很多朋友都会在没有任何‘想’而马上说‘不’，但是我没有想到他们会认为我要骗他们的钱！在我解识给他们听以后还是这么认为！有的马上说：‘那你骗了多少个人？’或 ‘你骗了谁？’或‘小心被骗。’有些朋友没有说口，但是却给我更伤人的 ‘你要骗我的钱’的眼神。请问朋友们，我有拿着刀逼你们加入吗？我只是希望可以帮到你们，但是你连机会都不给我。看也不想看，听也不想听。即使听了，心里也一至认为我要骗你，或我被骗了。

谢谢你们认为我苯，谢谢你们对我的不信任，至少我已不再是那个坐在家里问‘自己为什么他们都找到出路了，而我的出路还没有找到我？’。

路是自己铺的，自己找的，自己选的，自己走的，我只是让你有多一个选择而已。不给自己一个机会，也别把我认为是一个骗人的人或被骗的人。

我不生气，而是有点无奈。原来我不是一个令人信任的人。我的‘以为’原来和‘事实’不一样。。。

Flowers

2005-08-15T09:28:00.000+08:00

A new love, a new start in life. Hope our love will be like the name of the bouquet of flower..."Love Infinity"

Got this from my BF, whom charmed me with his knowledge. Never thought I'll find someone so soon after a terrible relationship, but he came by. I am very very lucky and happy, :P give us all the blessings in the world.

花 -- 五月天

2005-08-03T17:26:00.000+08:00



 
       作词:阿信作曲:阿信

         这一声 这一次 为自己抬起头
         至少要骄傲的盛开过
         
         就狂舞如果吹狂风
         就等待放晴的天空
         如果雨越下越大 节奏就更猛
         
         当风雨 都过去 迎着风 看天空
         不放弃 才能够 有感动
         这一生 这一次 为自己 抬起头
         至少要 骄傲的 盛开过
         
         有谁能听到我心脏
         有谁能听到我绽放
         谁能谁懂谁听见
         也于是来自四方
         
         当风雨 都过去 迎着风 看天空
         不放弃 才能够 有感动
         这一生 这一次 为自己 抬起头
         至少要 骄傲的 盛开过

         当风雨 都过去 迎着风 看天空
         不放弃 才能够 有感动
         这一生 这一次 为自己 抬起头
         至少要 骄傲的 盛开过

Never give up as there is a rainbow after the rain.

Wrong and Right

2005-08-03T15:36:00.000+08:00

What is wrong and what is right? There are times that people tells me that 'hey, that is wrong.' or 'No it is unacceptable'. So I ask them why is it that they think is wrong and not right to do? Because it is socially unacceptable? Because there are histories of failure and horrible results? Because by doing that there are people who will think bad abt you? Because because because...

Wrong and Right? Who determines that? When we were young, our parents/elders are the ones that teaches us that. When we grown up, society are the ones that re-enforces the concepts of whats right and whats wrong.

As I grew up, the concepts of whats right and whats wrong always kind of confuses me and I always have doubts abt them. Thus to make things easier.... whatever benefits me yet don't harms others are right enough, whatever harms me or people I love are wrong enough...others...depends hugely on situation. Many exists in the grey zone of can be right, yet can be wrong. Depending on the people who view it, it might be right to me but wrong to others.

Smile

2005-07-29T13:46:00.000+08:00

When I went to my sister's graduation on Wed this week, to prevent me from sleeping thru the long ceremony I decided to pay more attention to the people over there presenting.

First is a CEO, he presented to a long list of graduates. He need to smile to each and everyone of the graduates... talk to them, pass them their certificate, shake hands with them and finally pose to the camera infront of the stage to pose with the graduates with a smile. I'm impressed by that...wow...also found that after awhile he developed a technique to make sure the graduates stayed for the photoshot and face the camera. He pass the tube-like certificate to them from top down and grab on to it firmly with his right hand to their right hand after grabing the graduates' left hand for the handshake...somewhat locking their hands into an X-position from aerial view and tug the hands to turn to his right to face the camera with the graduates. hehee....thats quick thinking man...

Another one that I'm impress with is the gals that accompanied the presenters. They just never stop smiling....thou seems abit forced at the end of the presentation. But they never stop...wow... and their actions are very graceful.

I mean...that is hospitality rite. Not sure I can do that.

Then I start to think abt and observe the shopkeepers of the shops I frequent, from there I found that it is really true abt the relationship between the amount of patrons for the shop to the good attitute of the owners of the shop. I myself will not patronise a shop if the owner keep a blacken face or scolds people, even when the product they are selling is really good. I will however, patronise shops that sells average products just for the good service and smiles and small talks I got from the owners...even if it meant higher price.

Service is more impt to me....what abt you?

Shameless self promotion ...not mine

2005-07-28T00:06:00.000+08:00

Big Bolster Escort Services accepts ladies from all ages and walks of life....however...Big Bolster Escort Services does prefer ladies from 25 to 35 yrs of age.
However, Big Bolster Escort Services is still searching for its Premium Member...after which Big Bolster Escort Services will discontinue and undergo a company restructure and emerge as The Eternal Comforter (Till death do me part)

Above is the self promotion of one of the attachment student in my lab...he ask me to help him to find someone that will need a big bolster, which is him himself. haha.... told him I'll put this great sale advertisment on my blog site and see if any of my above 25 and below 35 friends would like to know him better.

:P So anyone interested? Ladies onli, Gentlemen pls find some other bolster to hug.

Over-reacting

2005-07-27T14:53:00.000+08:00

After reading my own morning blog...haha... I can say that I over-reacted. Maybe it is the morning me... haven really wake up, yet somewat shockingly woke up by my blog. Haha...hmm...

Anyway, my sis ask me if she need to go back to all her past posts and make sure that she doesn't have any names in it. :P

I did put down real name in a joint blog with my friends...as the main purpose of the blog is to bitch abt the things happening ard us and to update ur life with each others. Thou normally we also don't write down the real name of the person we are bitching abt...haha...onli our names are real. We did put in names of certain places that we don't like and bitch abt certain kind of people...:P

Anyway, the last blog did shows that I do have moments that I totally loss my coolness...haha... especially when the caffine haven kick in gd.

The art of writing

2005-07-27T09:08:00.000+08:00

This post is created because of a comment left by one of my friend after she read my blog, which I promtly deleted the whole post including her comment and repost my past blog.

Writing online have a couple of 'red lights' that you must know, there are some things that you can't post it online as it is a place where everyone and anyone will see what you had written. Even if I onli give the address of this site to my friends, there will be people that bump into my site 'accidentially'. Those are the people that I would not like to give informations that will give out some personal informations to, which they might used it against me or any of my friends.

Do u see any names of my friends appearing in the blog? The most, it is initials of the names not the real name. Do u see any more personal, sensitive stuffs that I put on the blog that you don't like or you think might be a liability to you? Tell me if I did. Even when I'm writing on my paper journal, I onli uses initials of names that I deem not right to write down. As one will never know who will come across the journal and start reading it without permissions, especially for me as I leave my thoughts all ard the place. One might guess who I'm writing abt but then they can never confirm it unless I confess so.

Any more sensitive comments that you would like to leave me, pls email, call or just come and talk to me. Don't post it online.

BTW, pls read my post carefully before you wanna post a comment. On the 'word' that I use, on what and how I really feel. Don't just browse through it and think that I meant that, read.

I might be offending some of the people here but then I hope this will prevent any future happenings.... if u wanna leave ur real name, your real actions, anything that can disclose you... go ahead...but don't leave mine or others.

Kota Tinggi Review

2005-07-27T09:04:00.000+08:00

People, good. There are a couple of guys who really went along the trip in hope to find the gal of their dreams, thus very gd to the gals. Gentleman, most of them. My friends says that it is really nice to be pampered and taken care of. For me, still abit uncomfortable to 'abuse' the guys. haha...maybe I should as my friends told me if I don't I somehow prevents them to show their machoness...haha...

Food, palatable. Resturant food is okie...not too bad, but the breakfast at the hotel/resort was terrible. I thought breaky should be the best meal of the day. Sigh... at least give me nice bread, coffee and nice eggs and I will not complain...sigh..

Accomodation, if there is enough hot water and the pipes above our bathroom did not burst it is nice enough. Though the TV has no gd reception as it is in a supposely mountainous area. If it is not raining in the bathroom and I'll not complain...and if there is enough hotwater that I don't need to bath ice-cold water, which cause me to have serious headaches and feel abit sick (not enough sleep already). In the end, I took a day off from work the next day and slept till 2pm. Headache still on and off now but in total...okie.

Fireflies, very nice. Really looks like christmas tree lining the trees at the edge of the water. The guys are really nice to catch the fireflies for us to see...and it is really amazing to see such a small tiny ant-like insect to give off such a strong light from their body. You can't even feel them crawling all over ur hand...you can onli see the blinking of the lights. Hear some bats and monkeys too but then never see them.:P

Waterfall, except for humans there is no other life in the water. Air, gd enough but then cameron have much much nicer air than there. Not to mention the amount of smoke from ciggarates that I breathed in when I'm trying to breathe some of the air at the waterfall. I thought I can get to trek abit into the jungle surround the area but then no one is there to take me to it and my friends went for a dip in the waterfall. I'm reluctant to get in because of the lack of life in the water and the amount of human activities in the water. Not to mention I'm reluctant to put down my stuffs and camera...until they starts to splash water at me and my camera when I try to take XP with a Totoro's look. Sigh...my hands are shaking when I try to clean off as much water from my camera as I can. Not to blame any of them but my carelessness....sigh... I should not go close to them when they are playing in the water...I should have kept my distance. Thats Why I haven load up my photos as I kept it in by drawer full of drying beads to see if I can get all the remaining moisture off from it. Tonight, I'll go back and load the photos into my computer.

Shopping, cheap and nice. Haha...really nice...I got 2 blouse/shirt and 2 nail polish which I'm really happy with as they really looks smooth after applying and a lip gloss and a black eyeliner. :P Found that Harry Potter is selling at a much higher price compare to Singapore, not to mention Coffee bean and Starbucks also cost more. :P Not onli that, I also found that some of the fanartists' work on Naruto was made into pins, keychains, handphone chains over there. Sigh...it is not right and yet I cannot say they are wrong as the fanartist have their work available to all on the net. I did not buy thou...felt bad for the artists already that their work is sold without their knowledge. Sigh...
There is also a place that looks really like B2 at Far East, Edge @ bugis etcs... small shops selling youngster stuffs at cheap prices. The small shops are mended by the young and trendy too. haha... nice.

Over all, the trip is rated at 6/10. Naturalist should like the fireflies but not the others thou. :P Wasted that I brought my treking boots with me and did not go for jungle trek. Sigh...maybe it is the wrong trip I joined...and I'm quite disappointed without the jungle trek. :P

Will post some nicer pictures (like those of the waterfall I took on angles tat will not show the worksites right beside it and the people crowding ard the waterfall) when I upload them all. :P

Nice words

2005-07-20T12:15:00.000+08:00


每段往事都會變成回憶，
不能永遠停留不前 ──
也不可以一直沉緬過去。

為了未來的目標，
必須一步步前進。

而心中永遠都會有個
屬於自己的起跑器…

把頭抬高，背脊伸直，
呼吸一口新鮮空氣，
邁開大步向前！！

然後 ──
用你的左手與右手
共同捉住你的未來！
       
             日下萬里 in P.P.O.I--我們的青春男孩

I need something to push myself out of the depressing feeling I have today..maybe it is PMS...maybe it is because everything seems to be goin on rocky road for me....fish embryos die...lots of work...tired...menses...:P

Anyway, this is taken from Ppoi, a Japanese comics. Enjoy...

Newspaper reading....

2005-07-12T15:40:00.000+08:00

Never thought that reading Newspaper takes alot of time until I seriously starts to read one....not like in the past just choose the articles I like or read the headlines onli.

k, wats on the headlines this few days... hmm London Bombing...London Bombing... G8 meetings... Huang Na's Murderer's Trial and happenings..... increasing prices for public transportations....NKF's fund raising....

hmm...k think I need to try to finish today's papers...sigh...

迷失的人

2005-07-04T10:03:00.000+08:00

每个人在漫长/简短人生里迷失过。小时候的迷路，到长大后的迷失自我，迷失目标，迷失在这充满欲望与自我的世界里。

我们的世界是如此平静，安全，封闭。。。外面的战争与天灾触摸不到我们。

我小时候迷路时并不害怕，但是长大以后总是害怕迷失自己。让自己同化为这世界里的人，和每一个人一样只为自己，只为生活而活。迷失了自己的目标，迷失了自己的理想，迷失存在的意义。

我是认为自己很清楚自己所要的，自己的理想，自己存在的意义。但是有时候，我还是人为自己迷失着。

而最害怕而可怕的是，我似乎已迷失在自己所建造的世界里。我不看报纸，应为我不想看到我不希望看到的世界。我不看新闻，也是应为我不想知道世界的转变。我把自己与社会分开了，唯一知到的社会新闻来自朋友与家人。我一直以为，只要不是发生在我身边的事，只要是我不知道的事，我的世界就永远美好。但是我发现，这是不对的。看不见并不等于不存在，不想在意并不表示不会受影响。社会的事，国家的事，世界的事，都是我们应该关心的。我不应该把自己关在自己的世界中，应该关心一下周围的事。

我想活得清楚一些，不要在这么迷迷糊糊的活着。

My Fav Elf

2005-07-04T01:30:00.000+08:00

hehee...nothing to do and don't feel like sleeping yet thou I should already. Therefore, I decided to post this blog, my fav elf blog...haha

Above is Haldir from LOTR, played by Craig Parker. Love the Elf, both in the novel and in the movie. A very wise and brave March Warden. Of course there are other elfs that I like, for example... the wise Elrond, the Silver Lord Celeborn, the Golden lady Galadrial, the Warrior Twins Lords Elladen and Elrohir.

Still love Haldir more thou..hehee...

Initial D

2005-06-30T16:19:00.000+08:00

I was very looking forward to Initial D Live Action Movie by HongKong film industry...but then I got more and more reluctant to watch it on the big screen. Many of my friends thought that as a Initial D anime fanatic that is so into drifting I will not miss the show, I thought so too. The reason that I'm not keen to watch it on big screen anymore is that it will destroy my image of Ryousuke...not that the actor is not gd at acting but I still deem that he looks too young to play the more serious and mature Ryousuke that race more with his mind and than that of his instinct. The worst thing is that there is no Keisuke in it! No Keisuke! T-T It does also mean that there is no Yellow Mazda FX7 FD3.

My 3 fav racers in the anime/manga:

Takahashi Ryousuke-Races with clear mapping of the race course..with all the steps in his mind...including where to over take and where he might get overtake. With superior techniques that he had learnt thru his racing yrs and clear computer stimulations. Love to play mind games.

Takahashi Keisuke-Races with pure instinct, and lots of practicing on the course and lots of instructions from Ryousuke...including what he should look out for as an opportunity to overtake. Ryousuke will not give definite ans but will ask him to do something that will help him to find the ans to winning the race. Very concentrated in Winning the race in every race, thinks Takumi as his enemy to win over as Takumi is the only racer that win him apart from his brother. More imptly is that Ryousuke also thinks highly of Takumi.... personally I think that is the reason why he wanna be better than Takumi. haha... very much like me...just haven worship our older siblings as gods...haha...

Fujiwara Takumi-Races with instinct and the unwillingness to lost to anyone. Have really gd techniques right from the start from all the teachings from his dad right from he is 14yrs old. Quote of wat he say '1yr to learn not to be afriad of riding his father's car, 1yr to learn to drive without being afriad, 1yr to drive without spilling the water from the cup and after that he just trys to get faster for the pure reason to have more time to sleep when he gets home' haha.... thus he becomes the 2nd fastest driver in Akina. 2nd because he can never beat his father...hahaha...Bunta. Oh ya, not forgetting the fact that he don't like driving in the beganning when it meant just delievering Toufu for his father, then he begans to love it when he started racing. Haha... he race his first race because his father promise him a full tank of oil for his date if he wins.

I of course prefer Keisuke from all the other racers...for his characters and his car...hahaha. Below is a pic from the anime of his car and him. :P

Batman review

2005-06-30T14:11:00.000+08:00

Just went to watch Batman Begins yesterday with one of my friend. Hehee...has been pestering her to watch with me since last wk... therefore thou I still felt sick yesterday I still went to watch with her.

Like the show..very different from the other Batman movies that forcus on beating certain evil characters like the Joker, 2-face, Dr Freeze... etcs... this Batman forcus more on how he becomes what he is and how it contridicts to wat he want yet is how he want. Dark....real dark...yet real true...even applicable to our current world...situation.

It is a dark tale, like other batman's stories there is a lady interest...but then there is no together...but yet it is a very nice ending...I can say that it seems to conclude the batman's lines of movies. Thou I do hope that there is more batman movies ahead....since I particularly like Batman from other superheros...haha...

Home...

2005-06-23T14:40:00.000+08:00

What and where is your home? Just looking thru an online dictionary yield 11 different defination for the noun of home...

A place where one lives; a residence.

The physical structure within which one lives, such as a house or apartment.

A dwelling place together with the family or social unit that occupies it; a household.

a. An environment offering security and happiness. b. A valued place regarded as a refuge or place of origin.

The place, such as a country or town, where one was born or has lived for a long period.

The native habitat, as of a plant or animal.

The place where something is discovered, founded, developed, or promoted; a source.

A headquarters; a home base.

a. Baseball Home plate. b. Games Home base.

An institution where people are cared for: a home for the elderly.

Computer Science a. The starting position of the cursor on a text-based computer display, usually in the upper left corner of the screen. b. A starting position within a computer application, such as the beginning of a line, file, or screen or the top of a chart or list.

I am particularly fond of the definition 'An environment offering security and happiness'

In one of the novel that I've read, one of the author states that Home is where the heart lies. Therefore your home is where your love one is, or be more romantic 'Home is in the arms of your love one.' Romantic isn't it....haha... but then truely...where is home?

Does your home offer you security and happiness?

Blog after my 25th Birthday...

2005-06-16T14:11:00.000+08:00

By English standard, I'm 25th this yr. Spending just 25th yrs breathing air through jmy own lungs. While by Chinese standard, I'm 26th this yr. Being alive for 26th yrs already, including the mths spending in my mother's womb (thou it is just 10 mths to be exact.

Went to the Zoo yesterday, not to celebrate my birthday but to celebrate father's day. Dad can only go to the Zoo on Wednesday, thus the day is fixed...thou it is also my Birthday. :P

My elder sister and Bro-in-law brought me 'Band of Brothers' DVD...hahaa.....since I love it so much and wanted to buy for so long. :P Friends that I got to know really well in Uni brought me a thermal mug...wow very nice. Brew some coffee and bring it out early in the morning and it is still warm at night after I came back. haha..real nice, heard from the sales that it can even use to make porriage from uncooked rice in 30mins.

A couple of friends from IMCB gave me a 'red packet' and a card...very uniquely done. haha....MC is the one that have a creative mind to make it so nice. The pic attached below is it, now I have to think how should I spend the money. :P Hey, maybe I should go and get the Tarot cards.

Still have to meet a couple of friends this coming weekend. :P For food, drink and presents.

Yaoi (BL)

2005-06-10T15:28:00.000+08:00

Okie something to trigger ur senses...there is a nice picture I would like to share...someone on the net drew this sometimes ago... it is call a FanArt (Art drawn by Fan for particular anime/manga)

The image is Duo and Heero from Gundum Wing, as you can see it is of BL, yaoi, slash, gay...whatever you name it.

I've came to like this pairing and essentially start reading FanFiction abt BL is from an author name Kracken that my friend had kindly introduce to me. haha... I only show her sites to read fanfiction and she show me BL fanfiction. See see...people that looks more normal then me is actually more weird than me... and influence me... haha... not saying it is a bad influence thou.

:P

Over confident

2005-06-06T14:55:00.000+08:00

My sis told me that I'm over confident when I told her I'm goin to Thailand myself for a backpacking trip. Am I? Probably I am.

I know I had many travel incidents happen in the past. Like the time my Backpack roll off the bus when I'm coming back from Pulau Redang, Malaysia and the time my Handphone got lost (most probably stolen)on the bus back from Pulau Perhentian, Malaysia. But then there is never been much trouble when I'm in Australia alone for so many mths... so I don't think I have travel hazards. Most probably is I have troubles when I take coaches. :P

So no worries sis, I'm taking plane to Thailand! haha....:P Think it will be fine la... At least give me a chance to travel by myself and experience real backpacking without anyone fusing ard me.

I'm not over-confident...I know there is still possibility of danger travelling alone...especially I'm Female...but then if I'm already afraid to step out of the 'safety zone' and travel alone in the more danger prone world...will I be able to become fully fledge?

The Person I want to be with

2005-06-06T09:58:00.000+08:00

It seems that alot of people misunderstand me after I post the last posting abt the guys that will catch my attention, so to fix that this post is born.

When I say catch my attention in the last post, it does just and plainly means 'catch my attention' and nothing more. Never did I mention that I only want to date guys with those characteristics or my future husband have to be that.... lol

Another reminder...It is just guys that will attract my attention...and that attention might be short span or just for viewing pleasure. :P Hey, guys can look at gals with nice bodies and I can't look at guys tat I consider having gd physics too?? Hey, that will be sexist. I bet you will also turn to look at that guy/gal that walk pass you not long ago if u find him attractive to you.

Okie...to the pt of the posting....the person that I wanna be with...

It is very hard to put down on the exact person I wanna be with as for a few reasons...
Firstly, there is not yet one ard me that I think there is a possibility of us together.
Secondly, love is a very unpredictable thing. Even when I say I like the person to be this and tat...and don't want to be with any who is this and tat...in the end it might be so different. There are friends who told me that they will not go for guys younger than them but they did in the end....told me that they want their guy to be taller than they are but in the end the guy they date is shorter than them...or they hate guys who smoke but....as u might have guessed she still chosed him...
Thirdly, I don't wanna limit the choices out there. So wat I'm attracted to guys like Karl Urban, David Wenham, Vin Diesel, Arnold Vosloo and Neal McDonough etcs..., to me they are just idols. How do I know what they are like in real life? haha...I might not able to stand their real character for even a min...

Okie, as everyone will say...'character is more impt than looks' although we still want alot on looks....haha...character is indeed an impt factor in a relationship. At least wat keeps the relationship goin is how the 2 different characters mix and compliment each other.

From the past relationship, I can safely says that I don't like guys who depends on their GF to make decisions for them, so they can blame them if it turns out bad. To have to keeps ensuring them that they can do it...basically giving them positive views in life as they are damn negative abt the world surrounding them. NO SELF CONFIDENT! Or in DEEP SELF DENIAL! To be truth, I like a person who have the ability to have a little control over me. I'm a very difficult person to control, especially to people I'm not particularly fond of. The onli person that still have this type of control over me is my elder sister...and sadly...my younger sister also have the ability to make me say yes/okie.

I need a person who is very confident of themselves and their ability...not over confident but also humble enough to know their limits and respects the elders. A person who know what he wants and do find ways to get it with his abilities. CONFIDENT is a very impt factor.

Once I told my friends that since I'm so 自恋(Love myself), the person who I will look at him while talking instead of looking at reflections of myself on any polished surface is most probably the one. I have alot of tendency to do that, u'll know if u r really my friend...and sorry I really did that unconsciously...:P

Apart from that...I don't know if there is anymore fixed character that I like...what kind of person do u think will be gd for me?

Guys that will catch my attention...

2005-06-02T17:43:00.000+08:00

Decided to write this because of my taste in men which is very different from most gals I know.... they tell me that my taste is weird... or special....

First thing first...this contains characteristics of guys that will attract my attention onli k...don't think too far...

Found this when one day I'm sorting through in my brain the types of actors that had caught my attention. They share some common characteristics...

1. 虎背熊腰 (Board chest/shoulder and strong midsection) literially Tiger's back Bear's waist. haha...hmz...

2. Muscular arms, legs and neck.

3. Can be call a brawn but have the brains. Have an intelligent look in his eyes.

4. Short short hair... most of them are bald...:P this is the characteristic that my friends think is weird..haha..but the impt thing here is not the lack of hairs on their head but the very strong bone structure and the confident air ard them even when they don't have any hair. (Not old can...just bald)

5. Thus guys that are intelligent looking, confident and have a air of order ard them will attract my attention...like everything is under their control and there is nothing they cannot do.

Most of the guys I know hate to loss their hair and take alot of care to prevent that...lack of hair seems to result in lack of confident...

haha...I do admire guys how willingly shave their hair off without a thought.

The most recent guy is a bald guy that have thin gold rimed glasses on... sigh... enjoy looking at him until the traffic prevent so...haha...

K, think thats all... :P

Perhentian Diving Trip Review

2005-05-26T09:41:00.000+08:00

Overview

The Dive sites there is not as good as I like, most of the corals are dead, dying or already overgrowth the algae making them appearing green. Some of the sites also have lots of Echinoderms (sea urchins), which might indicate that the coral there is not very healthy. Saw a couple of crown of torns too but then still not too much. Just spotted some cushion stars which is the most common starfish over there and a couple of more common ones..., lots of feather stars but didn't spot any brittle star which suppose to come out to feed during the night. Also have alot of Christmas tree tube worms and shells....like cone shells, Cowry, etcs....large in size. The shells tends to be feeding on the Urchins and starfishes over there...not sure if that is the reason for the lack of starfish...but Y stil so many urchins?

Inspite of the poor condition of the corals, there is alot of species of fishes over there. Pipefish, Razorfish, Angelfish, Lots of Parrotfish, Tons of Triggerfish, Lionfish, Blue-spotted stingrays, juvenile nurse sharks, juvenile barraccudas, Boxfish, Poucipine fish, Puffer fish and of course saw 2 different species of clownfish as there are lots of anaemone (those are not corals), also more common food fishes like Trevalli, Groupers and Seabreams.

Deep dive (28.9m), Secret reef

The visibility is really low during this dive and there is abit of current around the dive site.
The very first thing we saw is the moray eel that sticks its head out of the crevice of his hidout, he is not very big at all....and just above his hidout is a large clear tubeworm's tube...didn't go for a closer look at the tube thou...too many divers ard and the DM already swimming away. The tube of the worm is white in color...quite large, at least 2-3cm in diameter. Did not see the worm itself thou not sure if it is in the tube...the tube is quite transparent as the color of the rock can be seen. At first thought it is a skin or something like that but the tube does have lots of segamental rings on its exterior and the ends embeded into the crevices of the rock.
There is also alot of wire coral...

Lots of big school of fishes...Juvenile Barraccudas, Yellow-tail treadfins, trevallis etcs...surprisingly saw a group of Lionfishs too...abt 10 individuals of different sizes. Lots of rock formations but no other corals.

Wreck Dive @ Sugar Wreck, 18m

My first Wreck dive, the wreck is bigger than I've imagine. The light penetration is still okie but then the visibility is also not very gd. Managed to see 2 cuttlefish and some razor fish. Lots and lots of Urchins and big shells crawling ard...I can almost imagine a battle ground in slow motion of how the shell slowing approach the slow moving urchins to try to feed on them and the urchins trying to out run the shells in slow speed...hahaha.... Swim into the cargo hold for awhile....really dark and the torch doesn't seems to work well..because the light outside the cargo hold is too bright thou it cannot penetrate into the hold.

Night Dive @ Teluk Pauh, 12m

Of the two night dives that I went to...this is the best. It is the first night dive there and the Sun already set in this dive. The crabs and shrimps starts crawling out of their holes and the stingrays starts to feed. The cushion stars and the Crown of torns also came out of their cervices to feed on the sandy bottom but surprisingly not so much of feather stars nor any brittle stars. Huge sea cucumbers also came out into the sandy flats and they seems to move faster than when there is light. Visibility is gd, thou dark.

Other Dives, 15 - 18m

The other dives are okie....T3 have alot of nice rock formations that I like thou repeat dives doesn't have any trills anymore. Seabell rock also have lots of rocks and coral flats... most of them are staghorn corals and mushroom corals. Most are dead thou.

K, thats the review of the place...in conclusion it is not a dive site that I will wanna go back again and again.... Moreton Bay corals are much more beautiful than there...thou the number of fishes is lower... Acidians are much more beautiful too.

Dive Trip to Perhentian

2005-05-26T09:34:00.000+08:00

Lots of things happening on the trip.... have tons of things to write....but need time to write too. Will do so soon, in the mean while enjoy the pictures...

Below are the links to the albums that I have received from other divers and myself.

Eve's Album

SetYen's Album

My Album

My visual aids to pass the hours in the lab...

2005-04-29T17:03:00.000+08:00

Just rearranged some of the postcards and pasted on the "Kingdom of Heaven"'s ones. Sigh... got alot of work but still felt so bored....sigh...

Thought of adding in a postcard with a side-way view of a naked guy with quite a gd body... It is a postcard of a Gay Musical Theater known as "Happy" that is going to start in Singapore soon... But it does not seems appropriate to paste it here. Haha... they might get heart attack.

爱

2005-04-29T16:40:00.000+08:00

爱，不一定会以什么样的形态降临。
爱，不一定会是温暖的，心安的或是仁慈的。
爱，有时候是残酷的，不仁的，甚至是在命运的裙摆下，喜好恶作剧的。
... ... 可是，人们依然会祈祷，祈祷有一天，爱能救赎一切。（李葳--爱与革命夜）

Another piece from the novel that I just finished. Love is selfish, one is always more selfish when it come to love. Thus sometimes it makes the relationship look worst than it is in actual fact.

我在追寻着。。。

2005-04-28T17:08:00.000+08:00

我在追寻着。

　　跌跌撞撞、坎坷曲折的道路上，我双脚满是被碎石扎出的伤口，
鲜血洒在我行走的道路上。

　　我在追寻着一个解答。

　　诞生到这世上的理由……

　　流浪在人世间的理由……

　　我追寻着、追寻着，疲惫又困顿，伤痕累累且心口满目疮痍。

　　然后，我才知道，这一切都只为了你。

　　与你相遇、与你邂逅。

　　为你所伤、为你所悲、为你的喜忧、为你的爱。

　　是你。就是你。你是解答。

　　我，终于找到了。

李葳--爱与革命夜

Very beautifully written...sigh.... I'm still looking for that someone.. are you too?

One sudden Thought

2005-04-17T18:29:00.000+08:00

I just had this sentence pop up in my mind when I'm pouring some water for myself...one fine Sunday afternoon when no one else is at home and I have a slight headache (something tightens my head until it felt like compressing vertically...squeezing my brain...)

“神之境界谁能达到？你，我还是他？”

Who has the power to control themselves, control others, create and destroy. "God" What is "god"? Someone, something or just some myths.

jibun no inochi no imi wa nani. jibun no sekai ni nani ga daisetsu na mono desu ka. Naze watashi wa umareta. Naze ima ikiteiru. Nan no imi ga aru. Nani ga watashi shitenakia.

Watashi no kokoro ni nan no kami ga iru ka. Akuma mo iru ka...

oshiete kudasai

清明时节雨纷纷

2005-04-04T10:13:00.000+08:00

Rain...rain...rain... mom say it is because it is 清明节 (QingMing Festival), a Festival whereby we visit ur ancestors tombs, clean it and burn paper money for their use in the other world. There is a poem on this festival which involves plenty of rain, it goes like:

“清明时节雨纷纷，路上行人欲断魂，借问酒家何处有，牧童遥指杏花村。”

Translation: Rain never stops during QingMing, everyone that walk past are sad, 'where is the pub' one ask, and the shephard points to XinHua village.

haha...something like that...very hard to translate chinese poems. haha....

Oh ya, our family went visit the tombs last night at 12 midnight...finished everything at 3.30am. Then we went for supper at the Famous Roti Prata Store, got back home only at 4.30 in the morning...haha...

Nothing spooky there, quite a number of people with the same idea as us to visit the tombs in the middle of the night. Slight drizzal too...but still okie. Bro-in-law brought his ghost detacter which non of us know how to use to see if he can find anything interesting.....too bad I think non of them wants to get close to him. haha...

潇洒与无情。。。

2005-03-21T10:45:00.000+08:00

很多人都认为我很潇洒，也有很多人认为我很无情。潇洒与无情，到底是哪一个，要看你是从哪一个角度看。

有一些人认为我不应该和他分手，最不应该的是在和他分手以后感到松了一口气。他们认为我应该感到非常难过，非常不开心。可是我没有，所以他们认为我很无情。但也有很多人认为我这是叫做潇洒。因为很少人可以在感情上面那得起放得下，而我做到了。

我潇洒吗？是吧，但是我希望他也是。

Falling in love with the author... ...

2005-03-17T00:07:00.000+08:00

My friend told me that I fell in love with the author... the author is now my ex-BF. He becomes the past just a wk ago, as I realises that I love the author but not the real person. I realised that as a person who loves to read and write, I does tends to fall in love the the writer....alot.

Learnt one impt lesson thou, "Never assume a person's personality by the things they wrote abt themselves and the way they seems to be in letters they wrote". Although I knew Gus for quite awhile as a real person but we haven really been together before. Emails is the way the closer relationship begans, and as it goes I thought he is the one....but of course... it is the author I love as when I really get together with him in real person I found that I can't link much of him to the original author that I knew n like... Resulting of course to the short-lived relationship.

My fault? His fault? Mine probably, as I shouldn't have fall in love with the author. :P

Never regreted this relationship thou, at least learnt something from it and know myself better. No regrets...

haha....okie....start reminding me how stupid I am, come on...I know u wanna press that comment link.... :P

How does Rumbling comes abt...

2005-03-14T15:28:00.000+08:00

rum·ble ( P )
v. rum·bled, rum·bling, rum·bles
Defination: To make a deep, long, rolling sound. To move or proceed with a deep, long, rolling sound.

Always uses this world to describe talking sense or nonsensicals...but never really know wat it meant or whether it exist.

Reading a fanfiction suddenly make me realise where I learn abt this word....haha from the story. The author loves to use rambling as a form of talking to oneself or talking when the person they are talking to is not really listening....haha...

hmm.....thus I use random rumblings as my blog title.....as I'm just randoming saying alot of things with no idea whether anyone will read all the nonsense I write.

Worth of Life

2005-03-04T14:57:00.000+08:00

What is the worth of life? Who determind the worth of one's life? You? Me? God? No one?

For human, the worth of one's life is determined by oneself. How much you think you worth??
I worth everything I live for and more, I worth my love and no one can replace me. I can do anything for myself because of that, I love myself too much...at least some people think I do.
There are people who thinks that they worth nothing or they cannot determine their worth themselves, those people are the ones that never love themselves as much as they should. Are you one of them?

What about other living things apart from humans? How much they worth? Most of their worth is now determined by humans isn't it... which animals are more precious then the others. Which animal to save and which animal to destroy. The worth of an animal can never compare to the worth of a human. Thou there are people who thinks that life of other animals is more precious than of human.

There is once I asked one of my friend of will she kills off her dog if not eat it during the time of crisis, whereby food is not enough. She insist that she will not, and will rather die to keep the animal alive. When I ask her if only one can live? Not surprisingly she will die for her dog. Believe her?? I did not, not really... ... What abt you?

Being in Life science trade, the number of lives I took is uncountable. Thou non will say anything and non will say it is not right when I told them 99.9% of them are fishes. Reason...most probably because they can't make any sound like other animals can, they look stupid and behave un-intelligently in our eyes? Even if I tell them I killed a couple of rats/mices, most of them will still feel alright...even I think so. Yesterday thou I went to terminate some rabbits...the first time I done it...and it does not feel alright anymore...and most will tell me that too. Why? Because they appear intelligent, they can make a sound...they cry and they'll feel scared...they are higher mammals and is not our staple food source? I'm sad to take theirs but I have to do that. But I'll try to make sure they don't die in vain.

But isn't it unfair to the fishes? To the rats? To every other animals we killed like ants...mosquitoes...that cross our way? To all the animals that we eat, like chicken, cow, pigs?

In buddism, every life is a life no matter what their body looks like. We shouldn't take life purposely, we should celebrate evey life that born into this world and mourn for every life that pass into the other world.

Still, most humans are selfish like me. The most impt life is mine...

Boring life?

2005-03-03T10:43:00.000+08:00

Day after day, We all went thru the routine of life ...wake up...go to work...go home...how more routine can one's life gets??

Ways are thought of to make everyday different and exciting for myself so I would not feel too bored and cannot stay put anymore.

Meeting friends, having weird hobbies, read, have some sports etcs... life is only boring when you don't do something to alter the routine. It might results to less sleep and rest but it is more fun this way.

k, for example of this wk activities...Mon, went back home early to play with the PDA I borrowed from my sister....hehe...does not wanna return her now...:P Then tues I went dinner with Gus, my BF. Wednesday I went shopping for housewarming gift with some friends from poly. Today which is thurs, I'm goin yoga with my sis and dinner/supper with her too. Tml, goin to catch a movie with some other friends from Uni and Gus. Sat, goin out with Gus in the afternoon and then housewarming dinner @ friend's place. Sunday goin aunt's place to celebrate the 1mth old of my cousin. haha...everyday is fun, but I did not have the time to catch CSIa again 4 3 wks in a row...think I better get the DVD....

Nice picture

2005-02-22T15:14:00.000+08:00

One of my best buddy sent me this pic some time ago. Haha...quite a mood lifting picture. Thought I should share it over here. Bet it make you smile too.

We talk too much?

2005-02-22T11:01:00.000+08:00

We as primates are social animals, we can't live alone and have no contacts with anybody. haha...I found it quite true, I never stay alone at all...everyday I interact with tons of people. The bus driver, the other passagers in the bus, my boss, my labmates, my friends etc thru physical contacts, thru emails, thru msn, thru phone. Neverending...

The most active part of our body is ur mind and ur mouth, as we think alot consciously or unconsciously and we also speak alot to pass on and get information. Recently I found another increasingly active part of our body...haha...fingers! To type this blog, to reply emails, to basically communicates with friends and strangers in the net. :P Not all informations are 2 ways but rather interesting to have it one way too. More like a journal.

Gossips are the most impt social behaviour we have. haha...most of the informations we got abt things happening ard us are thru gossiping. Most of us done it unconsciously while other enjoys it too much that they make it their pastime. Many people thinks gossiping is not a gd behaviour but not all gossiping are bad and many still does it without thinking....it is just what humans do.

Problems of relationships and my views on them

2005-02-18T11:30:00.000+08:00

Why does a relationship have so many problems?? I think most of the time is because everyone wants it to be perfect and happen in their own way.

Don't know what happen recently that many of my friends and me started new relationship with man....and each has a different problem yet there is. Maybe love thinks that there is too many hate in this world and decided to become busier and start alot of relationships.

one thing I learnt from these relationships are that this generation of man is much much different from the past generations of them and so are women. Although the basic 'afriad of love, yet yearns of it' applied to all, how they handle it becomes very different.

There was a past saying that man are usually the first person who lights the fire of love and woman is the person that adds fuel to it to keep it burning....sometimes, it takes the woman so long to decide whether to add the fuel or not that the fire started by the man burns out and he is not interested in starting it again. I think now, the situation actually changed. The one starting the fire is the woman and the one taking a long time to add the fuel is the man.

Women are more independent now and don't think love is everything like the past generations. While men from the past never think love is everything until now, yet with women thinking the same way many men thought of it as a threat... threat as to now women will not try very hard to maintain a relationship, have their own life, does not see their man as their world and does not depend on their man as much now. Men are now more afriad to be dumped by women and many trys very hard to keep their relationship or are more afriad to start one as they are afriad to lost.

True? I don't know....just my observations of some men I know. Tell me if I'm wrong.

Constantine Review

2005-02-14T09:39:00.000+08:00

Watched this movie? Not yet? I think you should watch it, but don't just watch it to compare it with Matrix.

It is nothing like Matrix, only linkage is the main actor is the same. There are people who told me that this movie is not gd, this movie does not feel much difference to Matrix and of course Keanu Reeves acts the same way he does in Matrix and it does not look much different in his character.
I think most of them think way this way because they are subconciously looking for Neo in the movie...not constantine.

What I think of this movie. As many other stories of fights between good and evil, there is no absolute gd nor there is evil. Many people just do things that is favourable to them (or at least they think is) no matter it is gd or bad in other people's eyes. John Constantine is one, he hunts half demons who crosses the balance because he hopes that by doing that he will be able to go to heaven. He was suppose to go to hell because he tried to kill himself once thou he did not die, taking one's own life is a sin.
Only when one does gd things with no strings attached is one that really does it out of pure gd heart.

There is also this message that I got from the movie...which I read from many other sources, sometimes the things that you think is gd for the others might not be truth. Some people does extreme things not because they are crazy but most of the times is it because they think it is the only way to achive bigger things....

爱自己

2005-02-07T16:40:00.000+08:00

爱一个人是很奇妙的一件事。我喜欢很多人，但是我最爱的人还是我自己。

不论做什么事，我都不能让自己有一点委屈，可能很多人会认为我很自私，但是不论做什么事我都还没有迷失过我自己。可能我迷失过，但是时间常常摇醒了我。

我永远相信我是最爱我的人。

That tiny voice of self-doubt

2005-01-28T10:10:00.000+08:00

Self-doubt is the most deadliest weapon against all your decisions, no matter the decision is big or not. Objections from family and friends who loves you and fear for you increases that self-doubt. Not that they doubt you but most of the time is because they fear that if you fail the consequences is too big for you to take.

Ever heard of that tiny little voice in the back of your head that keeps telling you things like 'you can't do it' or 'you will fail and regret'? That is the voice from your self-doubt.

Sometimes by believing in that voice, whether conciously or not leds to your own failure in starting or completing some things. Therefore it is sometimes wiser not to listen to that voice, or better mold that voice to ur benefit...have the voice say 'what else should I do after completing this?' or 'I will prove to all that I can do it and they will drop their jaws to the ground...'

Never doubt yourself! Or it makes it right for others to doubt you!

音乐的感觉

2005-01-28T09:38:00.000+08:00

音乐可以带给人快乐或是悲伤的感觉。

每当不开心的时候就听一些轻快的音乐让自己的心情好起来。不开心的时候听开心的歌，那什么时候听悲伤的歌呢？
想哭的时候，想感到悲伤时，想找灵感来写时。。。

但我发现音乐也可以让人有很多其他的感觉，也可以让人有作一些事情的冲动。
愤怒，自信，动力与爱恨是几个比较明显的。

所以我有时候需要一些动力与自信时，我会听一些让我有这种感觉的歌。
好像五月天的《疯狂世界》和《倔强》，当然还有一些其他的歌。

音乐是可以疗伤的哦！

死了都要爱

2005-01-10T11:17:00.000+08:00

死了都要爱
by: SHIN

死了都要爱不淋漓尽致不痛快感情多深只有这样才足够表白
死了都要爱不哭到微笑不痛快宇宙毁灭心还在

把每天当成是末日来相爱一分一秒都美到泪水掉下来
不理会别人是看好或看坏只要你勇敢跟我来爱
不用刻意安排凭感觉去亲吻相拥就会很愉快享受现在
别一开怀就怕受伤害许多奇迹我们相信才会存在

死了都要爱不淋漓尽致不痛快感情多深只有这样才足够表白
死了都要爱不哭到微笑不痛快宇宙毁灭心还在

穷途末路都要爱不极度浪漫不痛快发会雪白土会掩埋
思念不腐坏到绝路都要爱不天荒地老不痛快
不怕热爱变火海爱到沸腾才精采

This is the song that keeps repeating in my brain these pass few days therefore in the end I play it in my MP3 player.

I think it is the talk that I have with Gus and the beginning of my relationship with him that trigger the repeating of this song in my brain...no mentioning another song "世界末日" by the same group of band.

He loves to plan. I love to go naturally. There are many things that I'm not sure I can get along with him....but then I do have lots of feelings for him now and I can't leave him. I thought abt alot of things and finally came into a very big conclusion for me. That no matter what he wants and does not want, I'll just give him what I want to give. This conclusion came in due to the fact tat I want to stay with him and for me living now is more impt that living the future. Not onli that, I believed in putting all the efforts into nurturing a relationship. Some people told me to just treat this relationship as 'something that will pass' or to just 'put in 50% of ur feelings' but I just can't do that. For me, it is either love or not love...and if I treat it as 'something that will pass' it will pass and never bloom into something more.

I always thinks that you have to believe that it will work out very well if you want something to happen that way.

Therefore, I'll put in all my best to nurture this relationship no matter wat. If...if in the end, it does not work out at all...I'll be hurt/sad..but still know that I've done my best and not have this thought of 'if I put in more effort...it will work out...it is my fault that we did not last'.

Resolutions for the New year, 2005

2005-01-02T21:31:00.000+08:00

Like a wind, the time travels by. And now is the time to make some promises to myself of the things I wanna accomplish in the timeframe of this year.

I'm 25 already. Not too old and yet not young in the prime of my life, 'Quarter of a Century' as quoted from my BF's words. Not sure if I get to live a century or not, if I live till 75, this yr will make the 1/3 of my lifespan. For my friend, it is already half of her lifespan as she does not want to live till she is old and fragile. So, it does not make much time we have in this surface of the earth right. Not mentioning the possibilities of sudden death, especially when just recently more than a million people lost their life to the forces of mother nature. Many of them not pass their prime.

Okie...enough rubbish...if I continues like this, I'm not sure if I can finish writing before 12midnight and if I can even get to the resolution part. So here goes...

1. I will loss at least 5kg this year and maintain it thru the year.

2. I will try very very hard not to flare up against Jennifer. (Very tough)

3. I will keep my rm tidy always. (Is tidying it now...may takes a few days as I have very slow snail-like progress)

4. I will fulfill all the promises I've made. (did not buy the remote control that I promised papa I'll get it last year, will go find it and get it soon.)

5. I will continue all the good habits that I've learnt in the past and stick to them. Never lie, never judge, never take for-granted, never believe rumors or judgements until personally verified etcs. Of course, must never lie to myself and believe in me.

6. I will perform my job well and with more passion, no matter if I like them or not because it is my responsibility. (Very much lacking of passion for my work now..again....sigh)

7. I will keep in contact with all friends and family more often. Making more efforts to keep all of them with me.

8. Since I'm buying my roller blades in a few days times, I will work hard and be very good at it.

9. Like last year, I will also go diving at least once.

10. I will try to be a better person than I was last year.

k, I think that is all of them that I can think of now. So hopefully by the end of this yr, I will fulfill all of the above.
hmm...better write them down in my organiser...

Reflections of 2004

2005-01-02T21:01:00.000+08:00

What have I accomplished last year?

I've managed to shed some weight and prevent them from coming back, thou still not enough.

I've learnt a new excercise...Yoga, which is good for me. Thought of learning Akido, take back archery and learn some other out door activities but in the end learn Yoga.

I've been trying to keep my temper in check, which I think has been goin very well except that I still tends to flare up when talking to Jennifer (younger sister). She always irritates me...don't know Y.

I've tried and very much managed to try not to be fustrated when things don't go my way and people don't react as I want.Kind of managed to take things as it is and not putting too much hope in anything thus making it very hard to digest when it did not happen.

I've stop buying too much comics which I tends to do when I'm younger. Gd for me, hehe as although I do love comics...it took quite an amt of money to buy them.

I've complete my wish of goin diving at least once a yr this yr, by diving in Pulau Redang. Saw alot of nudibranchs...lots of lots of them...non I saw in Auz....and sheets and sheets of staghorn corals. Not mentioning the many different varities of worms with brillant colors.

Most importantly, I found and is with someone that is worthly my love last year. Overcoming the fear of me having no ways to love someone, overcoming the fear that there is no Lasting love to try to defeat that believe now. I've made a very big and important decision in my life, I've decided to share and learn with someone. Spent the last few hrs of 2004 with him and the first few hrs of 2005 with him... and I really felt very blessed...not only to live to 2005 with also is with someone I love that is also worth my love.

K, enough for 2004 reflections...time to make resolutions of this yr!

Humanity

2004-12-31T08:57:00.000+08:00

"Tsunami toll tops 125,000, half-billion in aid pledged."

This is the headline of Channel News Asia this morning when I went over to have a update on the situation in the disaster areas.

The death toll is still climbing and had pass the million mark within one day, yesterday has only 81,000 confirmed death and today there is 125,000 confirmed death. This does not include the number of people reported missing and the number of people are still uncontactable, due to the cutout of communication lines and the lack of man power. Therefore, it is predicted to keep on rising...

Sad isn't it...when it is holiday season, the coming to an end of the year and the coming of a new year and this happened. It is really unpredictable, that within such a short days so many lost their lives and the lives of their love ones.

This is not the way to celebrate the ending of a year and a coming of a new year! As this is never the way to do it, with so many death surrounding us. This also mark the turning pt of many things...terrorists/seperatists now have to come together with the government to give help to the people that are suffering and help rebuilding the country they live in, thus making a more united country.

Glad is the word I use for I'm still breathing and non of my love ones are lost. Pity is the feeling I have for all that lost their life. And Help is the only way I can give to keep those that are still alive living.

It is actually what the chinese pharse said... ‘月有阴晴圆缺，人有旦夕祸害。’Which mean, there is New and Full Moon as well as cleared and shaded Moon, while there is terrible things that can happen to you within a change of day.

It shocked the world as it comes to the end of 2004

2004-12-30T08:58:00.000+08:00

Tragic, Sorrow, Pain are just some of the feeling most of the people in the world felt apart from Unbelievable when the News and Results of the 9.0 Earthquake that resulted in nearly a million accounted death in a single week in 6 countries involving people from all over the world. What killed many of them is Tsunami, Tidal Waves that rolled out of the sea due to the shift of the earth crust. And it has travels up to the East coast of America.

Wat a name was given to this tragedy, Killer waves. It killed more than 40,000 people instantly and the after effects are still here. People dying of exposure, hunger, disease and wounds every min.

Help is on the way thou, this tragedy brought out a lot of humanity. All over the world, countries, companies/organizations and individuals donated money, clothes, blankets, medications and food over to the survivals. Volunteers starts to pour into the disaster areas to help with the distribution of food, the rescuing of still stranded survivals as well as trying to establish communications with the thousands of islands scattered all ard Indonesia that had lost contact since the Tsunami on the 26th.

We are lucky, and "we" meaning Singaporeans, Southern Malaysians, Eastern Malaysians and all those in South East Asia but not caught in the disaster. So close yet still far. But even as faith allows us to go unharm, we felt the sorrow of the world as our neighbours suffers. It is thus we need to go united as human beings, and put more efforts in helping those in need. Moreover, as good neighbours to give a helping hand.

Lets help

Christmas is here...

2004-12-23T14:38:00.000+08:00

Tml is Christmas eve...there is celebrations of the birth of christ all over the world. Even in places by people who are not christians and those that does not really believe in Christ. I'm not a christian, nor any of my friends are...but we are all celebrating like the rest of the world...haha..exchanging gifts... eating roast Turkey...singing christmas carols...

To us, it is just a great chance to get away from work, let down our hair, relax and just have fun. It is also a great chance for a gathering of family and friends for 'pre-christmas dinner', 'Christmas eve celebrations' or 'End of the yr gatherings' haha....just have a hell lots of fun.

So there is 2 parties tml, one is the company's Morning till Noon Non-Academic Party and another one is the family's BBQ at night.

No mood to work anymore....hehe... just looking forward to the celebration tml....wahahaha....and this yr I got lots of thoughtful and wonderful gifts from my sisters and friends...especially like the ear-rings I got and the LOTR trilogy's table calender!

Friends forever....

2004-12-20T09:35:00.000+08:00

Went for pre-christmas dinner with 3 of my friends from poly last night. One of them I haven been seeing for quite a while ago. We exchange both gifts and recent tidings, and everything seems to be like back in poly years. The seperation did not really dim much of our ease with each other.

When I reach home, I received a sms from one of the girls, saying that she is glad that 4 of us can finally meet up together after such a long time. She also says that she is already very content thou she knows that the friendship is not forever. It gives me an impression that she is very pessimistic for us staying together as friends, therefore I message her back. ya, just until the end of our mortal life.

I do believe that one's friendship with another can last forever, at least until one dies....had already been friends with her since poly yrs..which makes it 6.5 yrs this mth and it does not seems that we will not continue to be friends. I have been with 2 of my dearest friends for 11 yrs and I know one of them since 11 just not counting the 2 yrs in primary sch as we are only classmates that time and become close friends in Secondary. It does not seem to me that our friendship will ever comes to an end, although we disappears from one another for abt a mth before reappearing...haha...

Friends, something that we can't live without. Humans are not solitary animals, we are social animals.

Tired...want to rest

2004-12-09T09:12:00.000+08:00

Been really tired this week with all the experiments. They are not difficult but the thing that make me tired is the various different techique that everyone wants me to follow....so should I follow this or that?? I finally combined all the different techiques available and found one that fits me and my time well enough, though some (especially one) in the lab thinks that I should try the style that they found working nicely and skip some of the steps that I think important.

Argh!!! What do you mean it yield enough protein can already! I want ALL the protein that is in the culture!! Not just enough for the predicted follow-up experiments!! I don't want to come back and do the whole thing again when I found that it is a centimeter from enough. If I can get 10mg of protein from the culture, why should I be satisfied to just get 5mg? Although it is enough.

Tired....mentally...and physically. Haven been home before 9 this few days....sigh... Didn't wanna wake up today to come to work...sigh... but really need to get this experiment done today. Hopefully everything turns out well and the yield is high...

Argh!! I hate it when some people keeps insisting that I should follow their way!! I found a better way!! Why I can't take it!! Prove that it is not a better way to me! Not just telling me that it is stated in the protocol!! WHY!!

Do I know them? Changes....

2004-12-03T23:29:00.000+08:00

Recently I found that people that I thought I have already been so close as to know what they are thinking is not what I thought they are. Been really full of myself isn't it. It surprises me alot...of how they are and I've not been paying attention to them....it seems everyone changes once awhile and I really have to keep changing my opinion abt them and change the way I thought they will react.

A guy friend who keep insisting he is straight from Secondary Sch admits that he had been dating some guys....A gal friend recently told me she is seperating with her husband and already dating another guy that is a friend of her husband... Her reasons are sound and her speed of getting into another relationship is predictable but she did not generate any fear from marriage due to her first failed marriage. I still love them thou...not worry abt how much they change...

I don't mean it is a bad thing... I found that I enjoy it...hehe...watching and understanding them all over again....dynamics of the human character. I also changed...maybe because I see myself everyday and I don't really know it. Come to think of it...I'm not the same gal as the one I used to be in Secondary sch...nor in Poly...I've change so much since Secondary....So so much... but I'm glad...as I like the way I am now than before.

I accepted some things that I will not in the past. I accepted that I'll never be stronger than any males after they reach adulthood due to the physical differences genetically between the genders. I accepted that when the task cannot be completed alone, I have to find help especially true for those that need physical strength. I accepted that I'm a girl and do and use girly stuffs is okie but trying to be tough tends to attracts hates from MCPs and doubts of many of whether I'm a lesbian. haha

There are lots more stuffs that I've change....not physically but mentally... braver I say....

超人-Superman

2004-11-24T14:57:00.000+08:00

Abt a mth ago, the world receive the news of the death of "Superman" -Mr Christopher Reeve

I was once his fan, when he play the role of superman. Non that came after him can outshine him in the role. He is not only a superman in the movies but he is also one in real life. Despite all that had happen to him that left him paralyzed, he still retain high hopes in life and managed to shine still through many shows and production he made. He just never give up living! He gives hope to many people and show the world that even when things seems dark ahead in life. If you never give up shining your own light you will never get lost in the dark and one way or another, more lights will show up and things will be better again.

Recently, there are many movies and songs that states that life of a Superhero is tough... like Spiderman2 and The Incredibles. Both stated how the superheros try to fit into the society as normal people and how hard is it for them. Even thou they are superbeings there are many things that they cannot accomplish.

Mayday have a very gd song call 'Superman'-超人 that tells just that.



             超人 

曲：冠佑/阿信 | 词：阿信 | 编：五月天  




世界如果被残酷攻击 只要给我一个电话亭 

把内裤当外衣 如果你能够开心 展开披风 带你飞行 




谁赐予我这一身 无助的能力

神也不能阻挡 你想离开的心 




为什么拯救地球 是那么容易

为什么束手无策啊 我和你的爱情 

为什么我能飞天 也能够遁地

为什么我却没办法 长驱直入 你的心 




曾经你赞美我手臂 逛街多能提 日日夜夜贴身保护你 

最凶狠的怪兽 也不能与我为敌 那为何害怕你的泪滴 




我给了我这一幕 难堪的结局

谁要这样超人 连自己也救不起 




为什么拯救地球 是那么容易

为什么束手无策啊 我和你的爱情 




为什么拯救地球 终于完美结局

为什么 我只能够 眼看着爱燃烧成 灰烬 




世界如果被残酷攻击 谁来接手我的超能力

Quote from the lyric: 'Why saving the world is so easy, but I can't do anything abt the love between you and me. Why I can fly and dive but I can't have your heart'...something like that...

Idolizing

2004-11-21T15:08:00.000+08:00

MayDay is the only band that I really like...in terms of their song and their attitude of life. Today they are in Singapore and there is a mini concert which I like to go to tml, my friend who is also a fan of theirs cannot make it and don't think that going to their mini concert means anything at all...and cannot understand why I wanna go. She thinks that being 24yrs old, we are too old to do such things as chasing Idols...

I'm not chasing Idol...I just like them and their songs and love to watch live performance and feel the atmosphere of the area "Life" I like them not because they are good looking or because they have lots of fans but their songs and I'm goin to this mini concert is for their live performace not for their signiture on the newest album. (They are but I don't think I can make it early to queue for it not mentioning that I hate to queue)

One thing I don't really understand is the age limit set by many people. Being 24 means that you cannot have the urge to go and take a look at your fav band? This kind of act can only be done by teens...and probably because they are naive and ignorant?? Just as only kids can watch animations??(As part of their childhood) Only Elderly can learn Botany, Taichi and Line Dancing??(because they have nothing much to do) Only guys can love car racing and gals have to love shopping?? (Gender thing)

What are all these caterogising for?

I believe one should live on how you want to live not how you should live. It is your life... and there is no Second chance to live it. So don't ever give up on any chances you got that you want! It may and most of the time never come back!

Courage

2004-11-18T16:49:00.000+08:00

Courage, just a word like all others you can find in a dictionary...but it is not just a word...it is something that all of us should have and many of us lack of in some way.

Lately been reading lots of books by Stephan E. Ambrose abt the Americans, Britishs and the Germans who are at war during WWII. Currently is reading Citizen Soldiers which have the stories from both side of the line... the Germans and The Allies. Who fight the war and how they fought it.... how some individuals felt abt the war and whether they think they will win it at that moment and why. Citizens who becomes soldiers at different circumstances and the way they fought.

I'm always interested in Movies and Books abt War...especially WWII. History lessons are the fav in Sch...Civil War...World War...the reasons for them to start...the way it plays out and the way it ends....
First saw Band of Brothers in TV when I'm studying my University Degree in Australia. Wow....never miss a show. The trainings...the stratgies...etcs.... It had became my fav TV series then on. It promted me to read all other stories by Stephan E. Ambrose, as he focus alot on the people who do the actual fighting... Focusing on the people's experiences rather than focusing on how one fails during this fight and win during that...as a whole army.

The main reason why I start this post is because I'm lacking the courage to face something and is thinking of evading it until it can't be avoided any longer...it is not a good way...therefore by writing this...I hope I can find some courage.... and hope this post will give me more when I need it in future dates....

倔强

2004-11-12T13:16:00.000+08:00

This is my fav song for the moment from MayDay's album, which is my fav chinese band. The title of the song is "Stubborn". I have a fav line in the song..."I'm not afraid if there are thousand of people opposing me, I'm only afraid that I will give up". Nice.

Never give up to your ideas even when there is many oppositions, if you really think that that idea is what you really want and what is good for you. Even when the obstacles are huge.



曲：阿信 | 词：阿信 | 编：五月天  

当 我和世界不一样 那就让我不一样

坚持对我来说 就是以刚克刚

我 如果对自己不行 如果对自己说谎

即使别人原谅 我也不能原谅



最美的愿望 一定最疯狂

我就是我自己的神 在我活的地方



我和我最后的倔强 握紧双手绝对不放

下一站是不是天堂 就算失望不能绝望



我和我骄傲的倔强 我在风中大声的唱

这一次为自己疯狂 就这一次 我和我的倔强

(就这一次 让我大声唱啦啦啦...)



对 爱我的人别紧张 我的固执很善良

我的手越肮髒 眼神越是发光

你 不在乎我的过往 看到了我的翅膀

你说过被火烧过才能出现凤凰



逆风的方向 更适合飞翔

我不怕千万人阻挡 只怕自己投降

Never Endling Love....Undying Dreams....

2004-10-30T20:04:00.000+08:00

Love? What abt it that makes it the most powerful thing on Earth? Because it can be deadly too...because love generates hate...love gives a person the reason and the power to do things that he will not normally do. Because it does not need other reasons to exist...because it is love...

Not sure if anyone will really know the true meaning of love. Me... you... I don't and may never will.....

There are many stories that writes abt love that will never end..love that is undying.... many of it writes abt lovers who will die for one another....but does it ever exist in the real world? I don't think so....it may have but I never seen a real life example.

But then....you can still dream abt having an undying dream isn't it? Thats what many people been doing...thats what many author has been doing too...that is a common dream... an Endless Dream....

The beauty of death

2004-10-26T13:46:00.000+08:00

'死亡是有美感，尤其当因为某种东西死亡了，死亡有不同的形式和不同的目的，当他因为有一些事，或者是内心想要守护的东西，死亡就会让人觉得非常有美感。有些是为了亲情，有些是为了爱情，有些是为了友情。无论是什么，人总有最在乎的事情，这些东西升华到最高处，是值得看待的。'
--by:郭敬明

This is taken from the interview of Guo Jing Ming on Sina.net
Interview in Chinese

Translation:
'Death is beautiful, especially when you die for something, death has different forms and reasons, when one die for a reason or things that he wants to protect in his heart, it becomes very beautiful. Some is for your family, some is for love and some is for friendship. No matter what, everyone will have something that is very important to him, and when that something becomes so important, it becomes something worth dying for.'

My thoughts:
Death can be ugly but it can be beautiful too. Dying for something is more beautiful than dying of old age. Therefore to me, if there is a time I need to choose to die for something important to me or to die peacefully of old age, I will choose the former choice...die for what is important to me.

零

2004-10-24T22:42:00.000+08:00





           零

曲：鐘國輝 | 詞：柯有倫 | 編：鐘成虎  


從來不相信我的世界可以有多完美 

痛苦 寂寞 還有一些疲憊 

不允許找人隨意進入我的零度空間 

寧願 孤獨 懶的再去想誰 




倆個人一起是否只是得到一種安慰 

掙脫 過去 然後忘記一切 

沒想過有天我的結局忽然全部改變 

誰會 抓住 我的無力雙臂 




怎麼 會哭 (誰錯誰對 為誰抱歉) 

不會 再哭 (誰錯誰對 為誰憔悴) 




走入零度空間 等到一切分裂 

就算愛的危險 我們一起面對 

來不及的防備 沒聽過的誓言 

要我怎麼學會 多了愛的明天 




走出零度空間 終於一切分裂 

就算愛的很累 我卻不會後悔 

放下所有防備 一切都無所謂 

逃出黑暗世界 開始新的明天 

新的 明天 (新的 世界)

This is the song from 'MARS', a Taiwan TV series taken from a Japanese Comic of the same name. Love the lyrics and the singer had really put in his feelings into the song...

Translation:

Never believe that my world can be perfect
Pain, lonely and abit tired
Do not allow myself to find anyone to be in my zerospace
rather be alone, lazy to think of anyone again

two person together is it just to get comfort
to get out of the past and forget everything else
Never thought that my ending will suddenly change completely
Who will catch my weaken arms

Why will I cry (who is right, who is wrong, who to be appologise to)
I will not cry again (who is right, who is wrong, who to be sorrow for)

Walk into my zerospace, waiting for all things to break
Even when love is dangerous, we'll face it together
No time to guard, never hear the promise
how can I learn to live in a tomorow fill with love

Walk out of my zerospace, finally all things break
Even when love is tiring, I'll never regret
Let down all my guard, don't care about anything
Run from the world of darkness to start a new tommorow
To a new tommorow (To a new world)

MARS....the god of war in the greek mythology...

Love...once you find it, you will forget all others.... and give up things that you thought you will never.

幻城

2004-10-24T22:28:00.000+08:00

Got know of this story today and read the first chapter on the net....sad...beautiful...tragic. Will try to find the book at the rental shop tommorow.

The author is from China...just 21yrs old this yr. Guo Jing Ming. Saw his interview on TV today...found that he got a very unique point of view of life....of many things. I like his words... like 'He does not have the energy to care abt things other than those in his own world and life. Because it already took up all his energy to live his own life too the fullest. If there is any spare energy that he have...he rather use it to do the things he like to do.'

Revenge...anger...took too much energy...Why spend so much time on it if you can be use it for more interesting purpose like writing a new book. Life is short....most of us never live pass 80...why dwell on such things....

First time...

2004-10-15T11:00:00.000+08:00

Don't know what got into me to start this blog....

Already blogging with my sister...sigh...

There are many things in life that I like to keep to myself...and that is getting boring and irritating as I'm the only one to know...so I thought I'll post it here and see if anybody I know will happen to drop by and know all the thoughts and secrets tat I have abt the things in my life...

The day starts out fine until I starts to have crazy notations...